Me and My Dizzle

For day ten of my 30 days of fun, I had dinner with my Dizzle. She came to my house and kidnapped me and we went and had all kinds of goodness at our favorite local restaurant. I heart my Dizzle. It was the perfect ending to my day.

What I Learned on Summer Vacation; Or, You Got to Have Friends.

One day during my high school career, one of my friends caught me in the midst of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. The next day, I got a funny little greeting card every class period that day. Somehow, this friend got hold of my schedule, beat me to all of my classes, and if memory serves, left the card where I actually sat in each class and disappeared before I got there. I still have all six of those cards. They totally cheered me up. And sometimes, I pull them out and they cheer me up all over again.

That gesture, to me, is a great illustration of a good friend. I am coming to appreciate good quality friends more and more.

I have learned (mostly through a few good friends practically beating this into my head because I was not using my listening ears) that good friends:

1. Give you some room to be imperfect.

2. Tell you when you are being stupid. With love, of course, and accepting that you might not listen to them. Because you're stupid. But they have faith you are doing the best you can. And that some day you will not be stupid.

3. Call you to check up on you when they know you've had a crappy day/week/month. Or they text. Or IM. Or send you pictures of their cute babies. Or they show up at your house with cheesecake. I'm just saying. You know. If anyone wants to demonstrate that last one....

4. Tell you cheesy jokes to distract you from your crappy, crappy mood. And do goofy things until you laugh really, really hard.

5. Leave you chocolate in your office. It hasn't happened to me. But I have faith that someday it totally will. I just have to get certain people to start reading my blog....

6. Read my blog. I'm just saying. If you're reading this you get extra points. You know, in my friend competition.

Why I'm the Best Friend You'll Ever Have Part Deux.

You know what's charmant? When people randomly use french words in sentences where all the other words are en englais.

One thing I've found fascinating that I've discovered more and more as I journey towards adulthood (any day now) is how different people think different qualities define what a good friend is.

Here's just a sampling of different rules I've heard named as The Rule of Friendship that Everyone Knows.

1. You must always tell your friend when they are doing something you feel is wrong. Expressing your opinion is paramount to being a Good Friend. This should supersede hurting their feelings, and don't stand on ceremony and wait to be asked for your input, because you care more about their Well-Being than their comfort.
2. You must never express your opinions in anger. A Good Friend only expresses opinions calmly, kindly, and rationally. Don't even think about being snarky to your friend. Friends don't Bite Friends Heads Off!
3. Never wear buy the same perfume your friend owns.

That last one is key, by the way.

Here's my idea of some friendship rules to live by:
1. Don't lie to your friends. Trust is cool, liars drool.
2. Be loyal. None of this talking behind the back stuff. If you talk about one friend to another, eventually it will occur to the listener that you could very possibly be sharing their deep dark secrets too.
3. Root for their happiness. Sometimes you have to tell a friend something that makes them sad, or mad, or sad and mad. But I like to weigh that against what I think I would want people to tell me instead of allowing things to fester and rot, and allowing them to do stupid embarrassing things and not realize it. Framing your actions with what you think will ultimately promote their happiness helps cut out some of the selfishness. Or so I hear.
4. Have their Six. That's like cop speak for having their back. If my underwear is showing and you judge instead of telling me, I will remember it forever. Also if I'm trying on jeans and they make my butt look big, tell me before I buy. Because if you tell me after I buy, I will be cursing your name all the way through the returns line.
5. Forgive. I had a friend in Junior High School that I was a serious snot to. I didn't speak to him much for about a year. Because I'm stupid, that's why. But he still speaks to me. To this day. He's even my MyFace friend. When I want to wring a friend's neck until their eyes bug out and their head flies clean off their head, I think of him. Because I want to be like him when I grow up. and he did not pluck my eyes from my head and feed them to the seagulls, however sorely he was tempted. So be sure to cut your friends some slack when The Crazy comes out. And do it quickly. Because being the Bigger Person makes you a very desirable friend.

I like the way it was summarized on CNN/Oprah here (Anderson and Oprah joining forces... talk about some world domination.):

Friendship is about being what a hero of mine described as "balcony people" instead of "basement people."

Basement people are those who live in our minds, telling us we will never amount to anything, that we are doomed to fail and that we are royal screw ups.

Balcony people are those who are consistently cheering us on. "Go for it," they say to our attempts to find our voice, to live in ever widening circles, to dare, to create, to break through our lives' sound barriers.

O-o-oh What a Friend!

Professor Oprah has a quiz on her site that I just took that I find thought provoking. It's all about the dynamics of your relationship with a close friend. Using criteria that some wise person in the Oprah building in Chicago deemed key components to a strong friendship, you can assess how well you friendship, and how well your friend friendships, and how well you friendship together. (See, if you're a drinking person, you could make a drinking game out of this and already be drunk right here. Or sick.)

So I took the quiz for me and my friend. Turns out I suck as a friend. Or we both do. Also apparently I give more than I get. But here's where I question these kinds of quizzes. Is it that I give more, or that I would like to think I give more, when really I'm a big selfish prat? 'Cause I might think I'm all self-sacrificing, when in reality that's just how I like to think I appear.

The quiz asks you to rank yourself and your friend on a series of statements. For instance, do I "Create a supportive atmosphere, making a point of being cheerful, encouraging, and caring enough to make the other person feel good?" Does my friend? I give myself a big fat Always, and Friendy McFrienderson gets a big fat Sometimes. But then in real life, I'm all scowly and face-making when Friendy tells me of plots to rule the universe and otherwise become independently wealthy. So in my head I'm supportive of the not-crack smoking. But in Friendy's mind, I'm not supportive of dreams near and dear to the McHeart. Which one of us is right? Maybe world domination is within Friendy's grasp, if only there is a supportive friend to offer words of encouragement. Who made me Queen? Well, besides me. 'Cause in my mind I'm Queen. With a tiara and jewels and a puffy ballgown and stuff.

Honest and Rude are Not the Same Thing

Hey Fellas. Here's something that is not hot. Being rude, and pretending like you're just being honest, and were duty-bound to spew forth your toxicness.

Here is my response: No. No you are not duty-bound to be rude.

To say to your loved one, who is expressing concern for your well-being "shut up and back off" might just acheive exactly that. Said loved one might shut up. Might back off. You may not hear from them in any meaningful way again, because your hostility indicates that their opinion is not valued.

Here's an alternative. Say "that's an interesting way to look at it. Here's how I see it. These are the facts I base my opinion on. I guess you and I just see things differently. That's why I choose the path I am choosing. Thanks for taking the time to worry." Or, even "respectfully, I choose not to follow your advice." Or, "thanks for thinking of me!" But definitely NOT "SHUT UP AND BACK OFF."

Taking the energy you have to aim acid words and angry attitudes towards those who love you is silly. You're kind of missing out on all the perks of the relationship. Also, you're no fun to be around. And it's not hot.

On the other hand, it does make me happy to be single.

Sometimes Sacrifices Have to Be Made

Yes, sacrifice. Like the rough, rough sacrifice of looking at this cute face for hours at a time.

Little Blue Eyes, here, smiled, cooed, and was generally adorable. And for the very difficult task of snuggling with him and playing games to make him smile, I got a color, cut, and eyebrow wax.

Isn't it cute? KJ (the girl formerly known as my roommate) made a trade with me. And yes, I covered my face. But you get to see Kermie's face, so it's like a trade. To help you feel like you are here with me, I will tell you that it is very soft, and I can toss my hair around like the Vidal Sassoon girl. Also it smells really really good from the shampoo and conditioner and hair product. Maybe later I will make K take a picture of it in the sun for me to post so you can see all the red.

Tips for Being a Good Friend on Birthdays

Birthdays are a special day no matter what the age! Take the time to make your friend's birthday the best it can be by planning ahead and thinking about the details. It's the little things they will remember!

Be sure to include lots of black in your decorating scheme. Black for birthday decorating is always classy.

Recognize that each year is special. I prefer spelling out the age with food. Little Fluff does also. He feels that it is important to celebrate the moments of our lives with sweet little morsels of food.

Confetti is an important piece of the equation (it's on the table, just trust me). Make sure to put confetti everywhere, especially in shoes, pockets, and in beds. That's a big birthday girl pleaser. Also presents are a birthday girl pleaser.

Little surprises are extra fun! I like to leave little messages in unexpected places.


Individualize your birthday treats. I chose a theme this year, and little man with the walker was a star player. Note the way he is placed on the Steel Cut Oats. I had never heard of these. I think it's an old people delicacy.

Other tips to consider:

1. Dry erase markers work on mirrors! Leave little notes. This also work for non-occasion messages. Like, "have a great day!" and "don't forget to make me a cake!"

2. Fresh baked things on the morning of that special person's birthday are wonderful! I had a roommate freshman year who got up earlier in the morning than should be allowed in order to have sticky buns ready for me before I left for school. Mmm.

3. Experiences stick in your memory longer than possessions. Gifts with meaning behind them are great! Even better are gifts of experiences. For instance, you could get them concert tickets, a dinner out with you, passes to a theme park, or plane tickets. I most enjoy the last listed item. I actually received a plane ticket from my wonderful freshman roommates because they wanted me to be able to go home for Thanksgiving to see my family. But that's another post.

4. Treasure hunts can be fun. If you are planning fun for a friend who is tolerant of a little cheesiness, you can do a little mission impossible themed birthday hunt. We did this my freshman year, with clues leading her all over campus, leading her back to our apartement where there were friends and a cake waiting to surprise her. It was good times. My favorite was the mission impossible tape we recorded to kick things off, and the man in suit and sunglasses who delivered it. Ah, the good old BYU days. We knew how to party.

Kimmy? (kimmy)

So just a heads up- they do drop one little swear word in this clip. It's really only the first ten seconds of the clip I'm interested in, not the cat fight/cheesey makeup part.



Kimmy, where are you? I miss you!

On the Road Again

I'm currently on vacation. I've come to S****** to visit the W's (coincidentally, W is Baby Girl's favorite letter).

Wgirl wanted you to know she does not always look crazy. Yestereday I picked Cookie up from camp. She came home on Da Boata. She had a very fun time, as evidenced by her spontaneously flinging her arms up into the air while she was talking to me as I stood down the docks.

After I picked her up, we drove for a really, really, really, really long time.

It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!