Yo My Mormons

Have you seen this website? Look at the Church gettin' all fancy!

Fah Who Door Ay!

I love me some grinch. But tell me, dear people who own the rights to this, why must you block things from being posted on youtube? It does not stop me from wanting to buy it, or from watching it on tv. I just wanted the one eensy weensy song. I'm building viewership for you here.

Tips for Being an Effective Community Helper

I never used to understand WHY it takes a training to learn what it means to volunteer, or how to best do it. People will literally spend hours talking about this in my line of work. In some ways that makes me want to take my head and bang it soundly against a blunt object until blessed unconsciousness overcomes me. But here's the thing: a lot of people suck at planning service projects.

If there is one thing that you remember about planning a group service project/donation drive/we're going to fix the world fest, remember to ask this one question: Is this actually needed?

Silly, right? That's just common sense, right? Turns out not so much. I cannot tell you how many different groups I have worked with who have not asked this basic question. I've sat in both on the planning, and been the one they contacted. And often the planning goes like this:

You know what would be fun? We should knit a bunch of hats! That would be so fun! Okay, so, um, who wants to figure out where to donate them and call them to find out where to drop them off?

People. People. People. No one wants your hats. Or at least you don't know if that's what they want. They might want your hats a little bit. They might possibly just take them in hopes that you will go away, because, yes, eventually they will use them, along with all the other hats. But they might more desperately want spoons. And wouldn't a spoon drive be fun? But you wouldn't think of that right off the bat. Because who collects spoons? That's what makes it so brilliant, though!

Here's how you might want to think about starting the discussion:

What are some needs we see in our community? What organization that
addresses the problem can we contact to see how we can best contribute
resources? Let's call them and then reconvene to plan our project based on
what we learn.

It's crazy talk I know.

Why I'm the Best Friend You'll Ever Have Part Deux.

You know what's charmant? When people randomly use french words in sentences where all the other words are en englais.

One thing I've found fascinating that I've discovered more and more as I journey towards adulthood (any day now) is how different people think different qualities define what a good friend is.

Here's just a sampling of different rules I've heard named as The Rule of Friendship that Everyone Knows.

1. You must always tell your friend when they are doing something you feel is wrong. Expressing your opinion is paramount to being a Good Friend. This should supersede hurting their feelings, and don't stand on ceremony and wait to be asked for your input, because you care more about their Well-Being than their comfort.
2. You must never express your opinions in anger. A Good Friend only expresses opinions calmly, kindly, and rationally. Don't even think about being snarky to your friend. Friends don't Bite Friends Heads Off!
3. Never wear buy the same perfume your friend owns.

That last one is key, by the way.

Here's my idea of some friendship rules to live by:
1. Don't lie to your friends. Trust is cool, liars drool.
2. Be loyal. None of this talking behind the back stuff. If you talk about one friend to another, eventually it will occur to the listener that you could very possibly be sharing their deep dark secrets too.
3. Root for their happiness. Sometimes you have to tell a friend something that makes them sad, or mad, or sad and mad. But I like to weigh that against what I think I would want people to tell me instead of allowing things to fester and rot, and allowing them to do stupid embarrassing things and not realize it. Framing your actions with what you think will ultimately promote their happiness helps cut out some of the selfishness. Or so I hear.
4. Have their Six. That's like cop speak for having their back. If my underwear is showing and you judge instead of telling me, I will remember it forever. Also if I'm trying on jeans and they make my butt look big, tell me before I buy. Because if you tell me after I buy, I will be cursing your name all the way through the returns line.
5. Forgive. I had a friend in Junior High School that I was a serious snot to. I didn't speak to him much for about a year. Because I'm stupid, that's why. But he still speaks to me. To this day. He's even my MyFace friend. When I want to wring a friend's neck until their eyes bug out and their head flies clean off their head, I think of him. Because I want to be like him when I grow up. and he did not pluck my eyes from my head and feed them to the seagulls, however sorely he was tempted. So be sure to cut your friends some slack when The Crazy comes out. And do it quickly. Because being the Bigger Person makes you a very desirable friend.

I like the way it was summarized on CNN/Oprah here (Anderson and Oprah joining forces... talk about some world domination.):

Friendship is about being what a hero of mine described as "balcony people" instead of "basement people."

Basement people are those who live in our minds, telling us we will never amount to anything, that we are doomed to fail and that we are royal screw ups.

Balcony people are those who are consistently cheering us on. "Go for it," they say to our attempts to find our voice, to live in ever widening circles, to dare, to create, to break through our lives' sound barriers.

O-o-oh What a Friend!

Professor Oprah has a quiz on her site that I just took that I find thought provoking. It's all about the dynamics of your relationship with a close friend. Using criteria that some wise person in the Oprah building in Chicago deemed key components to a strong friendship, you can assess how well you friendship, and how well your friend friendships, and how well you friendship together. (See, if you're a drinking person, you could make a drinking game out of this and already be drunk right here. Or sick.)

So I took the quiz for me and my friend. Turns out I suck as a friend. Or we both do. Also apparently I give more than I get. But here's where I question these kinds of quizzes. Is it that I give more, or that I would like to think I give more, when really I'm a big selfish prat? 'Cause I might think I'm all self-sacrificing, when in reality that's just how I like to think I appear.

The quiz asks you to rank yourself and your friend on a series of statements. For instance, do I "Create a supportive atmosphere, making a point of being cheerful, encouraging, and caring enough to make the other person feel good?" Does my friend? I give myself a big fat Always, and Friendy McFrienderson gets a big fat Sometimes. But then in real life, I'm all scowly and face-making when Friendy tells me of plots to rule the universe and otherwise become independently wealthy. So in my head I'm supportive of the not-crack smoking. But in Friendy's mind, I'm not supportive of dreams near and dear to the McHeart. Which one of us is right? Maybe world domination is within Friendy's grasp, if only there is a supportive friend to offer words of encouragement. Who made me Queen? Well, besides me. 'Cause in my mind I'm Queen. With a tiara and jewels and a puffy ballgown and stuff.

You Know What's a Cool Word?

Progeny.

Also flabbergasted.

And hullabaloo.

Coolness

Seriously, how cool is Google this week. Happy, Happy Birthday Sesame Street!