Crazy Chicks!

Remember Little Fluff?

He had an accident (he might possibly have jumped off the oven range into a greasey pan), so I got a new little fluff.

And then that Little Fluff did the same thing into K's dinner. I think they need some mental health evaluation.

Clean. Clean. Clean.

So my closet shelf fell down a few weeks ago. See the lovely picture above and imagine my delight at that moment when I heard the loud CRASH. I might possibly have had too much weight on it at some point. But I totally had pared it down and there wasn't as much up there. I'm not saying I procrastinate or anything, but I totally just avoided my closet for several weeks. You know, instead of investigating the damage and picking things up. That's what I call stress management, my friends.

Since everything is hanging out on the floor for a while (until I find the motivation to go get the piece that broke from the hardware store and/or sucker my Daddy into fixing it for me), I have been taking the opportunity to identify things I can purge. A couple things I know:

1. I was overdue for cleaning out my financial records. How do I know? Because I had every paper related to financial aid and employment from the time I started in college on. It's been ten years since I graduated from college. More later on how old I feel.

2. I have a holiday decoration buying illness. I blame it on my mother. I think I have four boxes labeled Christmas. For people who have, you know, houses, and a children, and stuff, that's not that much. But I really haven't even gotten around to even getting it out in recent years. Still can't bring myself to get rid of anymore. I've already reduced it by several boxes. That was during my last purging, when I was unemployed.

If My Cell Phone Could Sing Me a Song...

I just got a new cell phone. FINALLY. I might possibly have had a terrible string of luck when it came to cell phones and... well... doors. Car doors. And so for the last half year or so I have been using a loaner phone courtesy of Alice. Now I have a pretty shiney new phone, and I hereby vow that it will not get slammed in a car door. Or really any door. I feel that this is a sensible plan.

What I DO need to do for my phone is find it a good ring tone. One that really expresses who I am. You know, At the Core. Here's the ones I've thought of so far:

1. Love Stinks, by J. Geils Band. And so it goes 'til the day you die.
2. Carry Out, by Timbaland (Featuring Justin Timberlake). Because nothing is more romantic than "take my order 'cause your body's like a carryout." And I like me some romance.
3. Nothin' On You, by B.O.B., because I AM the whole package, plus I pay my taxes. (Best lyrics of the year, btw.)
4. Or maybe I'll just get a Hoops and Yoyo ringtone.

Things That Make My Head Want to Explode

Seriously. Messed. Up.

What is This World Coming To?

Have you heard? The Boy Scouts saw a need to introduce a gaming merit badge. You know, because gaming is a big part of character building, which is what they are all about. I can imagine them, sitting around the table, scratching their heads, and saying, gorsh, what can we do to encourage boys to be better men? Hmm... Scratch, scratch. Then, ah ha! The light bulb came on. What boys need is more gaming. Because they are lacking that time in front of the TV nowadays. Those young hoodlums are spending way too much time gallavanting outdoors, building fires and learning how to give CPR. We need to bring more balance to their lives. But HOW can we convince them to spend more time on the X Box? You know, when we were kids, you didn't have to convince kids that gaming was important. They did it because it was the RIGHT thing to do, and you didn't have to bribe them. That's because our parents taught us what was most important. Kids just don't get that nowadays. That's it, fellas, we're going to make it a merit badge!

Phew. I'm so glad that the BSA has it's priorities straight. Our youth will be raised up right, and the next generation will have... really twitchy thumbs and no social skills.

Stinking Filarious.

I can talk good. I would like to introduce you to some new lingo you should integrate into your vocabulary.

1. Filarious. When funny doesn't cut it and hilarious seems too... easy.
2. Therapicky. Or Therapeuticky. For those feel-good moments after those feel-bad moments.

Top that, Webster.

If I were to get a tattoo...

I have friends with tattoos, and they have all these deep meaningful things. Besides the whole being a conservative little Mormon girl reason, I have never considered getting a tattoo because I am lame and see no deep meaningful symbols around me that I wouldn't get bored with in a few months. Here are my ideas on my tattoo that I'm totally going to get soon.

1. Kermit. I'm going to have the kermit collar put on my neck. Hot, right? Or should I say... hawt?
2. Cookie Monster. Possibly on my belly. Since that's where my cookie monster lives.
3. A huge seagull. All the way across my back. Because my inner voice says "Mine. Mine. Mine.Mine. Mine."
4. A daisy on my toe. To be original. (It's just a taaaaattoo of a flower, so I'll feel groovy, while takin' a shower. Er something.)

Yeah. There's a reason I don't have one. Okay, there's the whole Mormon thing too. But I feel that I have illustrated why we should all agree that I have made a wise decision all around.