Commercials that Make Me Giggle

I don't have cable, so I really have not been in the commercial world too much lately. I know some of you will be shocked to read that I don't have cable. Never fear, I have wifi and I watch all my shows there. Really it allows me to watch more in less time because there are less commercials. But every once in a while I see funny commercials that make me miss commercials. Mostly I just think, man, I'm glad this is the only commercial I have to hear. But these ones... they make me giggle.

Do. Da. Dippity. And some hamsters.

And the cute little cows!!!

And she loves him... ardently!



And of course...


Sadly... he isn't me...

I'm a Good Person and I Will Tell You All About It.

Reasons people are charitable:

1. Because they are nice.
2. Because they care about people.

3. So that they can tell people about how nice they are and how they care about people. They can also tell themselves this.
4. So they can be published on lists.
5. So they don't have to pay for a ticket/go to jail.
6. So they can achieve notable positions in their community.

7. To impress someone.

I'm all for charity, and for people volunteering and giving service and all that junk. But there are people in the world who are quite proud of themselves and the little ways they give. Or, in the absence of actual giving, they are quite proud of the way they talk about how they intend to give. Because all starts with talking, right? Lots and lots of talking. And if said intended future service involves The Children then that makes the speaker practically an angel. Because only the innocent truly deserve our help.

You know what makes me cranky? Besides the absence of chocolate in my house right now, that is. You'll never guess this. What makes me cranky is when people discuss potential subjects of service and essentially categorize groups of people as deserving or undeserving of help and love, based on no actual facts, but rather on personal biases and assumptions. Because heaven help us if we take the time to try to understand an issue adversely affecting people and have a little compassion for them.

I was recently delighted (and by delighted I mean severely aggravated) to hear a woman espouse her opinion that families who were homeless due to disaster, and therefore through no fault of their own, really need our help. It was her new mission to help support them in whatever way she could. She was quite proud of herself for this statement. She was feeling quite angelic. I was feeling like squishing her. On the surface, her comment was great. These people she was discussing ARE probably really deserving of a little love and support. Yeah for charity! But let's examine the qualifier in her statement. Through no fault of their own. Um, what exactly are you saying, there, Angel dear? Are you saying that Other Homeless People are NOT deserving of your charity, because they all CHOSE to be homeless? I'm sure, Angel, that you were not consciously trying to relay that message. However, it's clear from your statement (and a few other lovely follow-up statements about dirty scary people and addicts) what you think about homeless people.

Everyone is at a different place in life on their path to learning and understanding about the world around them. I totally get that. I get that while some people would be uncomfortable working with homeless people, other people would rather do that than work with a group of children. Everyone' s service of choice is different. There are lots of different ways we can make an impact in this world, and we all have different talents and preferences that lead us to give service in different ways. That's fabulous. Yeah for diversity! What I take issue with is people who insist on staying in their little bubbles and not educating themselves and broadening their minds when opportunity arise. I take issue with people passing judgement on other groups of people without taking the time to actually consider the cards life has dealt said group. Serving people does not make you better than them. If you're doing it right, you will most likely learn something in the act. If you're doing it wrong, you most likely brag about it later. I'm just saying.

When I Grow Up...

I want to be a foodie. I don't think I qualify as one right now, because I feel like a foodie should know things, like that there are different kinds of scallops. There are sea scallops and bay scallops? Who knew? But I do really love food. I love trying different kinds of food, and there are very few things I won't at least try. Like tonight, I was watching the Top Chef from this season where they did Dim Sum, and I would not even be opposed to trying the chicken feet. Although, it sounds like she botched them, and I'd rather try some that are properly cooked to get the full effect. But, still. I like to try different things. I also love finding good restaurants.

I consulted the source of all knowledge, Wikipedia, and it was confirmed. Foodies are food (and wine--but that parts never gonna happen) aficionados. I clearly don't know enough about food to be called a foodie. Wikipedia told me so. But I aspire to know more.

Also, when I grow up, I wanna be famous.

Perspective

One of my friends scared the crap out of me the other day. She had a medical scare that was life-threatening. For too many terrifying hours things were uncertain. I have never felt that level of awful fear for someone close to me. I've had grandparents and aunts and uncles die, but those deaths were for the most part not startling, and it at least felt like they had lived a life. Also, generally the assurance that I will see them again and that they are with God has been a comfort to me. But this friend is my age. I have only had her for a few years in my life. That is not long enough. And really, there is no one in my life right now that I am willing to part with. I'm selfish that way. Thankfully, she is okay. Fervent prayer was uttered by many who loved her, and I believe that God blessed her.

It's been a rough couple years for me. Lots and lots of change in my life. New job, new grown-up apartment with no roommate, new friends, new ward, and severed ties with a few old beloved friends. In some ways I have rejoiced in the changes and how they have helped me to grow and expand as a person. I've learned so much and love the people and experiences that these changes have brought me. But lately I have been struggling with the challenges these changes have also brought my way. Growing is exhausting. Trying to do better and be stronger is exhausting. I feel like I'm on the right track, but, my goodness, I'm tired. And also sad, because I've lost a few friends with these changes. But this week helped me gain some perspective on things.

Those things I've been stressing about? Kind of silly. My job is hard but I'm moving in the right direction and my boss is happy with me. My friends get frustrated with me but they love me anyways even with all my crazy. If I haven't driven them away with my crazy yet that's a pretty darn good sign. And even the ones who are not speaking to me anymore are still alive. I'd rather have them somewhere out there annoyed with me than not out there.

I'm Sure This Will Surprise You...

but the truth is, I hate Valentine's Day. Shocking, right? And, no, it's not because it's a holiday created by stores who want our money, blah, blah, blah.... I feel convinced that the people who say this (and I swear they are all people who have Somebody) are only saying this because they are cheap. There, I've said it. And now my trip to Alice and the Hatter's house has probably been canceled due to Too Much Making Fun. I kid, I swear. Please don't withhold the baby.

I believe that there should be as many reasons for people to buy me things as possible. I'm not opposed to commercialism if it benefits me personally. I'm still wondering why you didn't buy me a New Year's present, by the way. It was kind of thoughtless of you. I'm just saying. So, no, that's not the reason I hate Valentine's Day.

It's not even the disgusting displays of affection on MyFace. Although, seriously, I don't care how much you love your Baby, or how much your Baby loves you, or what your Baby gave you, or where you went with your Baby. Not on February 14th, or any other day of the year. All that happiness makes me want to puke. Just so you know. Was that too honest? Sometimes I get to honest. Some of you may recall the incident with the yarn.

What I hate is that everyone asks you what you are doing for Valentine's Day. And then after Valentine's Day, they ask you what you did. And they all swap stories and compare what their sweethearts did or said or whatever. And talk about how romantic and thoughtful they are or aren't the rest of the year. And if you're REALLY lucky, they ask you why you're single. And pat you on the shoulder and tell you that you will find someone. And suggest that you join an internet dating site. Because maybe if you Put Yourself Out There you will find Someone. Gosh, I never thought of that. Sounds fun, no?

If you had just sent me some chocolate and flowers, we could have avoided this tirade.

Other Things I Love

In addition to gnomes, I've developed a sudden fixation on unicorns. They make me happy. I feel like I should own one. Since there are no actual unicorns for sale in my geographical area, I have been scouting the web. Turns out that while unicorns strike my fancy in theory, there are a lot of ugly, creepy unicorns out there. I'm telling you. Go to Amazon or Etsy, and you will see what i mean. I do enjoy the print on etsy I found that says "Shut it or I'll stab you with my norwhal." I'm seriously contemplating getting this one for my home.I feel like this would add the little morsel of homeyness that I haven't quite capture yet in my apartment. This print could be the clincher. And don't steal my idea. I don't want to walk into your house and find that you have the EXACT SAME PRINT hanging over your couch. I will have to go all ninja on you if you do. You have been duly warned.

But seriously, why can't I find anything more than moderately cute. Like these erasers...

Kind of cute. A little creepy.

I do, however, need these:

I have marked them on my wishlist on Amazon for your convenience. Along with this:

Just so you know, I draw the line here:

This, my friends, is creeeepy. And you may not buy it for me.

I have a confession. I loooove...

Gnomes. If you have been in my house you have seen my gnomes. And I am sooooo excited for this: