Run Away!

The other muppets made Animal mad.

Perfectly Good Sick Days

The unfortunate thing about Sick Days is that they expect you to be sick to take them. On sick days I typically:

1. sleep in
2. Take lots of naps
3. Watch movies
4. Watch tv-when I have tv, which I don't right now
5. Take my temperature every 15 minutes to see if it has gone up or down.

Doesn't this sound fun? (Okay, the thermometer part could probably be left out on your typical lazy day) It would have been fun, except I also felt really yucky, so it was a wee bit difficult to enjoy watching the Pemberley scenes of Pride and Prejudice as they played in a loop. Also I was too nauseous to eat, and yummy foods should be part of any good lazy day. Although Saltine crackers can be surprisingly delicious. Also Sir Isaac Lime and I had a great time.

So, bosses, what is the deal with this requirement to be sick on sick days? It takes all the fun out of them. Laying in a ball in the middle of my bed with the blinds drawn and the fan on, trying not to puke, is not the ideal way to spend a friday (or the Saturday and Sunday of Labor Day weekend, for that matter). If only you wouldn't force me to go to such lengths to get a friday off.

Okay, so there are vacation days, but those don't come up all unexpected like sick days. Unexpected like last friday, where the waves of nausea hit me so fast I barely had time to call someone in the main office, print a sign for the door ("currently puking, call back later"), and speed home to my waiting toilet. All very exciting, except that the impromptu day off was not fun. I want fun sick days. Someone work on that.

Because It's All About Me

I just read the best article. I'm sure you will be surprised to learn that this generation of American children has a greater sense of entitlement than all the generations before them. I know, shocking, right? I cannot tell you the number of times I have to hear the "f" word (fair) out of parents lips, as in "it's not fair to make them clean up after themselves when they are here to have fun." Um, yes, it is. It totally is. It is always fair for people to clean up after themselves. And I'm going to get all crazy here and say that it is actually also quite fair to ask them to clean up after other people. It's called service. And they should be contributing members of society.

I went camping last weekend at a beautiful national park nearby, and I was disgusted with the amount of trash I encountered as I strolled through the beautiful forest that lead to a lovely river on the border of the campground. Some boys had a party by the river the night before, judging from the hooting and firecrackers we heard the night before. And the next day I saw that they had left their beer cans and other detritus scattered by the banks of the river, and half burned in the fire pit. I really am just thankful that they didn't burn down the beautiful forest. That kind of behavior is a perfect example of what happens to children who feel entitled when they grow to be adults. They keep people awake, practically burn down the forest, possibly traumatize the bears in the area, and leave the forest all ooky as a farewell gift.

So, due to my vast knowledge as a parent, I'm giving you the following tips:
1. Make your kids do chores. You are not their maid. They are a member of the household, and the only way they are going to learn to keep a house is by keeping a house. You don't want your kid to be the smelly kid* when they grow up, do you?
2. Teach your kids to leave a place nicer than they found it. My mom always had us throw away our popcorn bag instead of leaving if for the theatre workers to pick up. This is a good thing to teach kids. A bad thing to teach them is that the ground is their garbage can. I cannot tell you how many times I've witnessed a kid standing next to their parent casually drop a candy wrapper on the ground instead of walking the 5 or so feet to a nearby garbage can.
3. Kids are not entitled to your money. I lived most of my life without allowance, and somehow I didn't die.
4. Stop yelling so much. If you say everything in a shout they will think that is normal behavior. And then they will grow up to be adults who yell at people and are surprised that others think they are over reacting. You don't want to raise a crazy kid any more than you want to raise a smelly one, do you?


*I am referring, of course, to Big Daddy, with Adam Sandler.

Can I Have Your Number?

Um, I blame this post on K. It's stuck in my head now. The back of your head is ridikolous.

Movin Day

In honor of moving day, and because I don't have the time or energy to think of an interesting post right now, I give you this movie classic:



pictures of the new apartment to follow. :)

Make Them Stop!

I've had hiccups for about five minutes now. Usually I only have one and then I am done with them. Perfect way to cap off the evening.

Stupid hiccups.

We Knew Even Then...

We knew it was coming. We made fun of hair from other eras, and yet we knew we would some day be mocked. I've watched to movies that kids these days would probably classify as "old" (just like me), where I saw the hair that I used to yearn after and now want to apply frizz control to. I'm speaking of this:

And of this:

Curls are fun, yes. But this looks like unhealthy frizzy permed hair. Which I totally tried to have during junior high school.

Look how pretty her hair is here:

Even if you don't like the coloring you have to admit her hair looks much healthier and touchable, right?

That super curly puffy hair to me is reminiscent of the 'do we were all trying to achieve to some extent. You know the one. The one where you had the spiral perm, adn then you had a big puff on the top of your head, like Elaine from Seinfeld. My only comfort is that it seems to be making a comeback, so we can mock these crazy kids some day too. I'm talking about this:

All the kids are doing it.