How to Fix Your Camera

1. Hold camera loosely in hand over cement floor.
2. Drop camera.
3. Exclaim loudly, but do not cuss! (This is the key step)
4. Resume picture taking. You will find that the zoom, menu button, and all other features have decided to work again.

How to Write Good With Grammar

When your writing an announcment with which to inform about people information, here's some tips.

1. Make statements brief, short, to the point, and above all, not repetitive at all, ever.
Sample: "We've come up with this little pumpkin attached to this sheet that will help let the community kids know where they can knock on which doors to trick or treat at, and these are large enough to be visible from teh ground floor so they don't have to climb 3 sets of stairs if not needed."

2. Use, lots, of, commas?
Sample" And hopefully if any neighboring kids in the area come onto the property that will help them too, not to knock on every door, just the ones with pumpkins, once they get the idea."

3. WRITE IN ALL CAPS TO SVE SPCE!
Sample: "THE CLBHSE. WILL BE CLOSED AT 6PM Fri. Oct. 31st due to the staff taking their kids out trick or treating also.

4. When-in-doubt, hyphen-ate.
Sample "Thank-you."

5. Never should you ever deliver your notes that you write yourself at all, but instead, you should have some poor kid pass them out, so nobody will see you, and since they don't, they can keep guessing which one of you people out there in the office, where you work, has the talent which is a blessing for writing stuff like this sometimes.

Something You Might Want to Consider

As you prepare to vote this fall, here are some Very Important Facts you might want to consider:

1. I am most likely to vote for your preferred candidate/party if you send me forwards. Be sure that the forwards include facts about the candidate/party that are definitely true, being that they are in a forward. Also, be sure to send me videos about the candidate/party, appealing to my morals and values. Because if the video tells me that the American Way is to vote for your candidate/party, then it must be true. Also make sure to send me the videos that clear up any confusion I might have about what I am religously bound to do. I love those, as I love all forwards. So be sure to send me lots of forwards.
2. As you make your decision, be sure to base your decision on what the newscasters present as their take on what a candidate says, instead of actually reading/listening to what the candidate has to say. This cuts down on the time you have to spend making your decision. It's much more efficient.
3. If, after you have read the forwards and listened to the newscasters, you might want to mosey on over to your friend's place and talk for at least 10 minutes about who they are voting for. Pick your smartest friend, and then just vote how they are voting. Because I'm sure they listened to at least two or three newscasters to form their opinion.

60 Things about Me

1. What time did you get up this morning?10:30.
2. Diamonds or pearls? diamonds.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? I think it was Hellboy 2?
4. What do you usually have for breakfast? Breakfast? Like food before lunch? Do people still do that?
5. What is your favorite TV show? Eenie Meenie Miney Mo. Today I pick Grey's anatomy.
6. What is your middle name? Lorraine.
7. What food do you dislike? Peas. Ew.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I'm kind of on a break from music. I'm doing books on cd right now.
9. What kind of car do you drive? A white one.
10. Favorite Sandwich? Anything with cheese and avocado.
11. What characteristic do you despise? I despise lying liars. People lying to me make me more angry than anything
12. Favorite item of clothing? Who cares?
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation: Where would you go? Right now I would go to Hawaii. Or Paris. Oooh... or Italy...
14. Favorite brand of clothing? Esprit, totally.Are we 12?
15. Where would you retire to? Fife. I saw some cute houses in Fife today.
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? Either my last one where my nice friends had my picture of the Eiffel Tower framed for me, or my 19th, when my roommates flew me home from school for Thanksgiving.
17. Favorite sport to watch? Football or baseball- it's best if I'm there. I pay most attention to football of any sport I've tried to watch on tv. Although watching bowling on tv can be fun.
18. Furthest place you are sending this? Utah? I don't think anyone further than Utah reads this....
19. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? They always ask this question. I'm tired of answering it. So instead I'm going to tell you I'm watching the Rescuers right now. Remember Miss Bianca? "R-E-S-C-U-E, Rescue Aid Society!"
20. Person you expect to send it back first? Also, I am thinking about going to get a piece of pie. There's apple pie sitting on my counter. A whole yummy pie for two dollars!
21. Your birthday? December 6 (have you started shopping?)
22. Are you a morning or night person? Night person. All you morning people are crazy.
23. What is your shoe size? 9
24. Pets? Um, entirely too much responsibility involved there.
25. What did you want to be when you were little? A teacher. Or a writer.
26. Any new and exciting news you would like to share with us? I get a two week vacation at Christmas.
27. How do you feel today? Great, except I have to go back to work tomorrow and I need another day off.
28. What is your favorite candy? Chocolate. Peanuts are good with them, but not fruit. Fruit in candy is just silly. It's like trying to sneak in something healthy to your dessert. Dessert is not healthy. Then it would be Desert. er something.
29. What is your favorite flower? Roses- you should buy me some.
30. What is the day on the calendar you're looking forward to? My birthday when you buy me roses and give me a present.
31. What is your full name? Well, according to Goober from college, it's Holliberry Sucks-to-be-you Guttersnipe.
32. What are you listening to right now? The Rescuers, wtih commentary by K.
33. What was the last thing you ate? Roast chicken, stuffing, and acorn squash. My mommy made me dinner.
35. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Either grey or fire engine red. Depending on the moment.
36. How is the weather right now? Dark. Stupid daylight savings time. Stupid Fall.
37. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom, to see what time dinner was.
38. Favorite soft drink?I think it's Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash. Which I just googled and it sounds like it might be seasonal. So dumb. Never thought I would love anything that said "cranberry" on it. Totally stocking up if it's seasonal.
39. Favorite Restaurant? Chipotle. Or Red Robin. Or Cheesecake Factory. Or... how do people have just one?
40. Hair Color? Purple.
41. What was your favorite toy as a child? My bike, or my sandbox, or my swingset... or my blocks... or my playdough....
42. Summer or winter? Summer
43. Hugs or kisses? Kisses
44. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate. Duh.
45. Coffee or Tea? Hot cocoa
46. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Yes, you should all email me back, all you friends I am emailing.
47. When was the last time you cried? Um, if you don't know that, you don't get to know that. You should call me more.
48. What is under you bed? Wrapping paper, pottery, and books (Rory Gilmore style)
50. How many keys on your key ring? Seven. I'm cutting back.
51. How many years at your current job? Eight
52. Favorite day of the week? Friday and Saturday
53. How many towns have you lived in? Three
54. Do you make friends easily? Sometimes.
55. How many people will you send this to? One plus my blog. So, two. :)
56. How many will respond?20
57. Who do you want for President? No clue. I should really pay attention to that soon.
58. Do you like getting old? Yes, it's loads of fun.
59. What physical feature do you like about yourself the most? My stunning beauty.
60. What physical part of your body would you like to change the most? My metabolism. I would like one that allows me to eat utter crap and not get chubby.

You know you want to email me your list.

Sing it Loud!

I've been thinking about songs that were meaningful to me as a child and taught me the ways of the world , and a few songs come right away. There is, of course, the obvious:



My friend from up the street, Paul, taught it to me when we were playing on his slide in his back yard (when I was five).

And then, moving to the swings, this was my song of choice while swinging in my back yard:



The key, of course, was to run inside and put on your sunday shoes so that you could kick them off at the appropriate point. Then jump off in sock feet, run across the muddy lawn, and put them back on so you could do it again. Oddly I have no memories of my mother stopping this fun game.

Also, I enjoyed singing this one.


Possibly I enjoyed this song by Kenny so much because of this:


*K is thrilled I'm doing this post, by the way. I think she's heard the Gambler 5 times now as I pick the right video to embed. And yet even though this is the 5th time it is playing, she's kinda dancing over there while she reads.

Things to Do While You Pretend Your Friend Didn't Stand You Up

I'm not bitter.

1. Play Sims. Manage to offend little Fake Troy, your Fake Boyfriend, who you are trying to get to be your fake fiance, so you can be fake married, and have fake kids, before you become fake old. I'm really gifted at making Fake Troy hate me. Also at having mental breakdowns from lack of fun and sleep, and ignoring all my party guests.
2. Ponder how K made our fridge stop smelling like poo.
3. Call other friends besides the stand-upper so that you can reassure yourself that EVERYONE is too busy except you.
4. Start the dishwasher when you realize that there are no knives, and that while the fork worked this time for slicking the bread, it might not work next time
5. Watch Samantha Who.

Meanwhile, this is what stander-upper was doing. (Warning: One profane moment)

Little Man has a Little Brother

My sister had a baby! Now she has double the cuteness at her house. While the parents were at the hospital with Little Brother, I got to stay at the house with Little Man. It was a good time to test my mommy skills. The good news is, Little Man has quite the vocabulary. Also, he knows were the cereal, soup and snacks are kept. So if he told me he wanted a cat cookie, and I said where are those, he could tell me which cupboard they were in. So he did not starve. And he knows when his diaper is ready to be changed, so a lovely "I'm poopy!" would wake me in the mornings. I consider the mommy practice a success, because he is still alive and in good health. Also he's adorable.

Little Man holds Little Brother

Cutest little baby head


How can anyone resist picking him up and snuggling him?

Camping for Idiots

As you may know, K, my mom and I went camping in August. Please exuse the tardiness of this post. I'm sure you've been checking daily to see if I post anything about camping.

1. Dress appropriately

Note our model K's totally appropriate khakis. Khakis are always a smart choice for camping in the woods.

Open toe sandals are also good when you are near an open fire ring.

2. Fire is not a toy. Don't spray flammable things into it or build it higher than need be, and always keep a bucket of water nearby.

K demonstrates safe fire building techniques.

3. Rumor has it that dryer sheets repel mosquitoes. If you are camping near a water source (or pretty much anywhere in Western Washington), try tucking a few dryer sheets in your pockets.

4. Things to bring with you: fire wood, matches, newspaper and other fire starters, as well as papertowels or something similar. Not to say that I would ever forget those things...

That Reminds Me of a Song

Do you ever hear a phrase and automatically think of a song? K and I are having one of those weeks. Below are some examples of how I go oldschool and drama full, and K goes to songs you can do the Hustle to. You can play along if you want. Just think of your song before you look at ours. Also, if you want to put a phrase in my comments I will tell you what song it makes me think of.

I say "bad girl," and I think:


K, on the other hand thinks:


I say "don't stop," and I think:


K, on the other hand, thinks:


K says "whatcha gonna do," which OF COURSE makes me think:


But K is wierd, and automatically thinks:

Building Our Beautiful Home

K and I have been looking around for all those little touches to make our apartment feel like home. One of the things we don't have is a knife block. What do you think of this?



If you want to buy your very own you can buy it here.

Read Good.

The other day I overheard one mother of a high school student telling another mother that her child's teacher should not assign such boring books, or the kids will learn to hate reading.

I would like to argue that teachers should make kids read all kinds of stuff, including the boring stuff. Especially the boring stuff. Why? Because your boring stuff is not my boring stuff. Because they might actually learn something. Because our kids should grow up to be smart.

I have a friend who LOVES Dante's Inferno. I personally struggled through Dante's Inferno. This friend can quote from it, name characters, and tell what each circle of hell is in the book.

When I was in the ninth grade, we read Romeo and Juliet. It was slow reading, because Shakespeare's writing is not something your typically breeze through when you're fourteen. I still struggle with Shakespeare a bit, but I'm glad I've read a few of his works all the way through. I remember that my favorite English teacher in the world, Mr. Vinson, had us write a paper about Romeo and Juliet. I wrote that I thought it was the most ridiculous story, and that I had no respect for either of them for killing themselves over someone they had just met. Suicide, I wrote, is never the answer. I did not find it romantic at all. I swore I never would. I believe I got a good grade on my paper. I remember Mr. Vinson looking at me with a glint of amusement and something else in his eye. I think he enjoyed my indignation, and the fact that it came from knowing that piece of literature well enough to judge it. Now I get the romantic part of Romeo and Juliet. That feeling that if the person that you love is no longer in the world, you would rather die than experience the excruciating pain that consumes you. The point wasn't that they commit suicide for each other, I don't think. The suicide was representative of the immense tragedy they felt in their hearts over the loss of one another. The part where they are somewhere around 14 and have known each other for a few weeks I still find silly, although since hormone's are raging and passion is infused into all parts of life, it is a more believable ending when you consider their developmental stage. But the connectedness part I find sweet. If I had not read it then, I could not appreciate it now.

I was also made to read The Pearl by John Steinbeck, as well as Of Mice and Men. I found Steinbeck's style grating at times; he would take a page to describe the road that George and Lennie were plodding along. Now I appreciate that I was made to read those two stories. I never would have chosen those books on my own. I have no desire to read The Pearl again. I don't think I had a desire to read Of Mice and Men again when I first read it, although it was not as tortursome as The Pearl. But as an adult, I may find new meaning in those same lines.

I was given the assignment to read many different pieces of literature throughout my public and college education. There are some authors I can't stand, some books that I saw no point in and some books and authors that I love as a result of those assignements.

The youth of America need to grow up to be able to make intelligent comments about the great writers. Even if all they have to say is why they don't like a particular author and which books he wrote that they hate, they will have benefitted. They are using their critical thinking skills. They are examining other viewpoints and shaping their own world views. They are learning about human behavior, even if they learn about it by identifying that a portrayal of a character is unconvincing, and discovering what human features were lacking to make it convincing. They are learning about the morals portrayed in the writings, and judging what their own moral compass will be. They are learning new words, and seeing how beautiful the english language can be. Above all, through studying how great men and women writers express themselves, they can learn how better to express themselves. Possibly they will absorb other words into their vocabularies, instead of just using their time in school to learn how to use the "f" word as a noun, verb, adjective, and pronoun. Also they may learn to read good.