I was just watching a little clip on my favorite news source (besides wikipedia) cnn.com about things that have become obsolete in recent years. They listed things like dial-up internet, phone calls (welcome to the world of texting, people!) and catologs (um, love a good catalog. what's wrong with them?). The item listed that I found the most objectionable is letter writing.
Yes, I'm aware that letter writing has been a passtime in decline for several years now. I've been thinking about this a lot. When is the last time you wrote someone a letter (not counting your Christmas greetings)? I love me a good letter, but I rarely write them. Also I rarely get them. What crappy friends you are! Mostly we instant message, text, and write on MyFace walls. Emails aren't even necessarily that common anymore, with the exception of work communications. I cannot get some of my teenagers that I volunteer with to answer me when I email them to save my life.
I feel like we need to revive the art of letter-writing somehow. We could call it retro and that'll make it hip.
I've recently been looking through some old family letters. Back in the day, it used to be cool (at least among the Mormons, not sure about everyone else) to exchange family chain letters on a frequent basis updating everyone on what your family is up to. I think the idea was you would mail on your letter as well as everyone before yours to the next person, and at some point it would start over or something? I'm not smart enough to figure it out right now. That sounds like it might work. You should try it. I guess maybe the whole aforementioned mommyblogger trend is our generation's answer to those letters. I'm all for a good update on the kids. I have my own little cuties that I look forward to reading posts about. But there's a certain romance, a certain intimacy to letters. What about that? Where are my little kid scribbles about what they got for christmas and why their sister bugs them? 'Cause we got 'em back in the day. Oh, yes, my family got 'em. Does your family, now? I didn't think so. 'Cause your kids aren't blogging. Yet.
Showing posts with label When I Was Five. Show all posts
Showing posts with label When I Was Five. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Thanks, Dad! or Why I Have Odd, Unexplainable Opinions
My dad taught me lots of things:
1. How to change a tire. Because he apparently did not share the views of the mother of a lady from church, who taught her "if you have to change your own tire, you've lost it."
2. Air conditioning in an automobile is for sissies. He held that belief pretty much until the last kid left home, and up until their recent purchase of their nice, air condition equipped cars they have been taking road trips in rentals, to ensure that they have not only air conditioning, but also heated seats and a roomy trunk.
3. Wearing headphones while you run is dangerous because you could get hit by a car. Come to think of it, I think that stems from his personal experience of getting hit by a car while walking along a road... minus the headphones because they didn't have them way back when. Same goes for driving cars. You should not drive with headphones because you won't hear the car that's about to hit you... er something.
4. Look for the stud when mounting things to the wall. And generally that means knocking, not using those nifty little stud-finders they sell at the hardware store. Said stud finder is totally useless in finding studly men, by the way.
5. How to check the oil. Because, again, we were not to rely on "it" to ensure this got done.
6. Toyotas are true quality, and Fords are a piece of crap. I swear I grew up with that imprinted in my mind. Which is why I find this confusing and a little disturbing. Come to think of it, I think they may own a Ford now. I have no idea, not being one of those freaks of nature who notices make and model, or can tell it from the frame.
Now I feel inspired to make a list of things my mom taught me. Like, to always use the inside of your wrist to feel a person's forehead, because your hand is often cooler, being the outer extremity and whatnot.
1. How to change a tire. Because he apparently did not share the views of the mother of a lady from church, who taught her "if you have to change your own tire, you've lost it."
2. Air conditioning in an automobile is for sissies. He held that belief pretty much until the last kid left home, and up until their recent purchase of their nice, air condition equipped cars they have been taking road trips in rentals, to ensure that they have not only air conditioning, but also heated seats and a roomy trunk.
3. Wearing headphones while you run is dangerous because you could get hit by a car. Come to think of it, I think that stems from his personal experience of getting hit by a car while walking along a road... minus the headphones because they didn't have them way back when. Same goes for driving cars. You should not drive with headphones because you won't hear the car that's about to hit you... er something.
4. Look for the stud when mounting things to the wall. And generally that means knocking, not using those nifty little stud-finders they sell at the hardware store. Said stud finder is totally useless in finding studly men, by the way.
5. How to check the oil. Because, again, we were not to rely on "it" to ensure this got done.
6. Toyotas are true quality, and Fords are a piece of crap. I swear I grew up with that imprinted in my mind. Which is why I find this confusing and a little disturbing. Come to think of it, I think they may own a Ford now. I have no idea, not being one of those freaks of nature who notices make and model, or can tell it from the frame.
Now I feel inspired to make a list of things my mom taught me. Like, to always use the inside of your wrist to feel a person's forehead, because your hand is often cooler, being the outer extremity and whatnot.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Rest in Peace
Paul Harvey died! I remember listening to Paul Harvey's stories while my mom drove around doing errands (free lollipops at the bank drivethru!) in our little silver minivan. Hearing his voice takes me back to the olden days, when things were simpler and my biggest worry was whether Mom would let me stay up later. He always told The Rest of the Story.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
I Made Me a Mix Tape!
I have been on this kick lately where I've been wanting to compile a cd with all the older cheesey love songs I remember from my early childhood driving around in the stationwagon and then minivan with mom. Back then men really knew how to woo the ladies. Here's my first pass. What do you think?
1. Lady, by Little River Band. With a kind of stalkerish video montage of Sharon Tate.
2. Meet Me Halfway, Kenny Loggins. The best part of this particular video is that it is a tribute to the love of Lucas and Sammi on Days of Our Lives.
3. We're All Alone, by Rita Coolidge. There was one of this by the guy that wrote it, but it was a little scary.
4. Fly Away, by Olivia Newton-John, and John Denver. I don't actually remember this song. But what a special moment for Olivia and John, there in the woods, in what appears to be their very own biodome, or something.
5. Annie's Song, by John Denver. As an added bonus, the video is an hommage to the friendship of Christopher Plummer and Julie Andrews, the stars of one of my favorite musicals, Sound of Music.
6. The Gambler, by Kenny Rogers. Because what says love more than, "every hand's a winner, and every hand's a loser, and the best you can hope for is to die in your sleep."
7. We've Got Tonight, by Bob Seger. You'll see that this song uses the classic act-like-you're-done-then-come-back-for-a-big-finish method. That's the technical term.
8. I Want to Know What Love Is, by Foreigner. This song naturally draws one's mind to that episode of Quantum Leap where our hero falls in love with a woman, reveals his True Self, and they have One Stolen Night of Bliss.
9. You've Got a Friend, by James Taylor. When I was little I think we had a tape with church music on one side, and James Taylor on the other side, and I thought that James Taylor sang church music, too. But what is more romantic than this song? What girl doesn't want to hear "you just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I'll come running to see you again." (I don't think boys actually say that in real life). Also there is a very nice, friendly looking yeti sitting next to James in the video.
10. Tiny Dancer, by Elton John. Obviously written about Elton's little lady. Or is it about Tony Danza? Phoebe would say the latter, as I learned the other day while watching my brand new cable with three interesting channels.
Also as hidden tracks there is this one. And this one.
1. Lady, by Little River Band. With a kind of stalkerish video montage of Sharon Tate.
2. Meet Me Halfway, Kenny Loggins. The best part of this particular video is that it is a tribute to the love of Lucas and Sammi on Days of Our Lives.
3. We're All Alone, by Rita Coolidge. There was one of this by the guy that wrote it, but it was a little scary.
4. Fly Away, by Olivia Newton-John, and John Denver. I don't actually remember this song. But what a special moment for Olivia and John, there in the woods, in what appears to be their very own biodome, or something.
5. Annie's Song, by John Denver. As an added bonus, the video is an hommage to the friendship of Christopher Plummer and Julie Andrews, the stars of one of my favorite musicals, Sound of Music.
6. The Gambler, by Kenny Rogers. Because what says love more than, "every hand's a winner, and every hand's a loser, and the best you can hope for is to die in your sleep."
7. We've Got Tonight, by Bob Seger. You'll see that this song uses the classic act-like-you're-done-then-come-back-for-a-big-finish method. That's the technical term.
8. I Want to Know What Love Is, by Foreigner. This song naturally draws one's mind to that episode of Quantum Leap where our hero falls in love with a woman, reveals his True Self, and they have One Stolen Night of Bliss.
9. You've Got a Friend, by James Taylor. When I was little I think we had a tape with church music on one side, and James Taylor on the other side, and I thought that James Taylor sang church music, too. But what is more romantic than this song? What girl doesn't want to hear "you just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I'll come running to see you again." (I don't think boys actually say that in real life). Also there is a very nice, friendly looking yeti sitting next to James in the video.
10. Tiny Dancer, by Elton John. Obviously written about Elton's little lady. Or is it about Tony Danza? Phoebe would say the latter, as I learned the other day while watching my brand new cable with three interesting channels.
Also as hidden tracks there is this one. And this one.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
When I Was Your Age, Television was Called "Books"
When I was a kid, we played Red Rover all the time at recess. Kids who wanted to be extra safe on their bikes changed from their flip flops (which we called thongs before they mucked up that word) to their tennis shoes, and merry go rounds and seesaws could be found on playgrounds. Also, in my house at least, video games and computers were not something we spent a lot of our time playing with. Not when there were books to read, sandboxes to play in, sprinklers to run through, and bikes to ride.
Fast forward to nowadays, and Red Rover has been banned from play grounds, along with seesaws and teeter totters. In many places swings and slides are on their way out as well. Big toys, which used to be made of wood and metal, are now all plastic.
Some of this change I'm okay with. Like the metal playground equipment part. I can get behind that. Especially considering that when I was little I tumbled down a slide backwards and cut my head on the edge of the slide on the bottom. I still have the scar on the forehead to serve as a memory. Although if there were no alternative, I would still feel that to get rid of a play toy because someone could get hurt on it is silly. Kids can get hurt on trees. Are we going to cut down the trees? Or perhaps we could be reasonable and just teach our children not to climb trees and hope they have the good sense to not climb too high when our backs are turned. I have many little cuties (see cuties tag) who I care about, and who I hope don't get hurt. But I also hope they are allowed to have fun as kids. And if I never broke a bone playing Red Rover when I was little (if you've met me, you will understand why that is a big thing), I think they will be okay. And if they break a bone then they get a cool cast and their friends can all sign it. Also they will learn a bit more about being careful so they don't break bones.
The helmets on bikes thing I get. Head trauma is bad, and if we can prevent trauma I can totally get behind that. But again, it amazes me that if head trauma was possible, I never incurred it, especially considering how much time I spent on my bike growing up. I also get seat belts and booster seats, although I sometimes wonder if we're being a little too loony about this booster seat thing. But I totally support preventing internal injury and death.
When I was a kid, my mom refused to get us a Nintendo. It was partly because it wasn't in the budget, but as an adult I now understand why she would put her foot down. Video games muck up childhood. (I want to put a disclaimer here that I have friends with children who own wii's (the friends own them, not their children) and who allow their children to play computer games. This is not a criticism of those particular families. The parents are doing great keeping their kids busy with other activities and balancing things out. They get a gold star) "I'm bored" is in one of the most annoying things a kid can say, in my opinion, and it seems to be code for "I want to go play a video game," or "I haven't chatted with my friends online for hours" nowadays. I've met lots of ill-socialized teenagers who seem to have more "friends" online whom they've never met (creepy, by the way), and I can only conclude that allowing them to get hooked on video games and computers when they are young would lead to develop this seeming inability to relate to kids realtime. I've decided that my kids will have limits. There will be a timer. Maybe 30 minutes max, or if I'm an in an incredibly good mood, and they have no homework, AND they've done productive things, an hour. Also every time I hear the word bored they lose a half hour. Because I'm mean.
When I was little, and my mom would ask me what was on my wishlist for christmas and my birthday (being a December baby I only got to make one list), I would often just put "books." I didn't even put titles. Because I loved books so much that I didn't care which ones my family got me, I knew I would love them. Books are wonderful places children and adults alike can go to develop their imaginations and think new thoughts. When I am a grownup with children, they will not be used as punishment, as sorely as I will be tempted to say "go read a book" as punishment for saying they are bored. Because they should love books. And if they don't love books, they will just have to watch their mother break down into tears all the time until they see the error of their way.
Really what it all comes down to is I wish I was still five. Then I could run through the sprinklers and race my friends in their Dora bathing suits down the slip and slides, and color and put together puzzles and... oh, wait, I did that last week.
Fast forward to nowadays, and Red Rover has been banned from play grounds, along with seesaws and teeter totters. In many places swings and slides are on their way out as well. Big toys, which used to be made of wood and metal, are now all plastic.
Some of this change I'm okay with. Like the metal playground equipment part. I can get behind that. Especially considering that when I was little I tumbled down a slide backwards and cut my head on the edge of the slide on the bottom. I still have the scar on the forehead to serve as a memory. Although if there were no alternative, I would still feel that to get rid of a play toy because someone could get hurt on it is silly. Kids can get hurt on trees. Are we going to cut down the trees? Or perhaps we could be reasonable and just teach our children not to climb trees and hope they have the good sense to not climb too high when our backs are turned. I have many little cuties (see cuties tag) who I care about, and who I hope don't get hurt. But I also hope they are allowed to have fun as kids. And if I never broke a bone playing Red Rover when I was little (if you've met me, you will understand why that is a big thing), I think they will be okay. And if they break a bone then they get a cool cast and their friends can all sign it. Also they will learn a bit more about being careful so they don't break bones.
The helmets on bikes thing I get. Head trauma is bad, and if we can prevent trauma I can totally get behind that. But again, it amazes me that if head trauma was possible, I never incurred it, especially considering how much time I spent on my bike growing up. I also get seat belts and booster seats, although I sometimes wonder if we're being a little too loony about this booster seat thing. But I totally support preventing internal injury and death.
When I was a kid, my mom refused to get us a Nintendo. It was partly because it wasn't in the budget, but as an adult I now understand why she would put her foot down. Video games muck up childhood. (I want to put a disclaimer here that I have friends with children who own wii's (the friends own them, not their children) and who allow their children to play computer games. This is not a criticism of those particular families. The parents are doing great keeping their kids busy with other activities and balancing things out. They get a gold star) "I'm bored" is in one of the most annoying things a kid can say, in my opinion, and it seems to be code for "I want to go play a video game," or "I haven't chatted with my friends online for hours" nowadays. I've met lots of ill-socialized teenagers who seem to have more "friends" online whom they've never met (creepy, by the way), and I can only conclude that allowing them to get hooked on video games and computers when they are young would lead to develop this seeming inability to relate to kids realtime. I've decided that my kids will have limits. There will be a timer. Maybe 30 minutes max, or if I'm an in an incredibly good mood, and they have no homework, AND they've done productive things, an hour. Also every time I hear the word bored they lose a half hour. Because I'm mean.
When I was little, and my mom would ask me what was on my wishlist for christmas and my birthday (being a December baby I only got to make one list), I would often just put "books." I didn't even put titles. Because I loved books so much that I didn't care which ones my family got me, I knew I would love them. Books are wonderful places children and adults alike can go to develop their imaginations and think new thoughts. When I am a grownup with children, they will not be used as punishment, as sorely as I will be tempted to say "go read a book" as punishment for saying they are bored. Because they should love books. And if they don't love books, they will just have to watch their mother break down into tears all the time until they see the error of their way.
Really what it all comes down to is I wish I was still five. Then I could run through the sprinklers and race my friends in their Dora bathing suits down the slip and slides, and color and put together puzzles and... oh, wait, I did that last week.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Tradition!
Traditions are important. Just ask Tevye.
In our house growing up, we had a special tradition that I still think of with fondness. Every Sunday night, when The Wonderful World of Disney was on, and some Disney movie was being broadcast, mom would pop popcorn and we would sit and watch the wonderful world of Disney together. Even after college when I was at home I would crave popcorn every Sunday evening, even though the days of Wonderful World of Disney have sadly fallen by the wayside to make way for news shows, crime dramas, and sappy reality shows capitalizing off of people's misfortunes. Not that I'm referring to anything specific.
We didn't have our popcorn in just any old popcorn bowl. It was popped in our popcorn bucket, beautiful and orange, painted by the hand of my paternal grandmother. Those were the days.
When you are a single person living on your own, it's easy to lose the feeling of traditions in your life. I need to start some new traditions. Any ideas?
In our house growing up, we had a special tradition that I still think of with fondness. Every Sunday night, when The Wonderful World of Disney was on, and some Disney movie was being broadcast, mom would pop popcorn and we would sit and watch the wonderful world of Disney together. Even after college when I was at home I would crave popcorn every Sunday evening, even though the days of Wonderful World of Disney have sadly fallen by the wayside to make way for news shows, crime dramas, and sappy reality shows capitalizing off of people's misfortunes. Not that I'm referring to anything specific.
We didn't have our popcorn in just any old popcorn bowl. It was popped in our popcorn bucket, beautiful and orange, painted by the hand of my paternal grandmother. Those were the days.
When you are a single person living on your own, it's easy to lose the feeling of traditions in your life. I need to start some new traditions. Any ideas?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Reflections on the Olden Days
So the other day I saw a little girl with one of these:
Why didn't they have these when I was 5? Hmm??
On the other hand, I had the original muppet show, new episodes of Mr. Rogers, the original Scooby Doo, and many other treats. Now the poor kids have dolls with abnormally large feet dressed inappropriately, cartoons where everyone has freakishly large eyes, and the pressure from their peers to get a cell phone when they are 7. They're totally missing out.
I know, I'm showing my age.
But seriously. When I was a little kid, I remember things being carefree. I remember the city I grew up in having lots of trees, and the main road that is now 6 lanes wide being 2, or maybe it was 4, lanes wide, and the traffic not being completely aggravating. I remember playing with the neighbor kids every day. I don't remember my friends being booked up every night of the week with soccer and dance and Camp Fire and karate and art classes. Not that I object to any of those things. But when I have parents tell me they are out every night of the week taxi-ing their kids around, I think, "are you serious?" I'm unsure when these kids are finding the time to learn how to participate in unstructured play. In the little free time they do have, they are hooked up to something electronic. Kids shouldn't be bored if they don't have an electronic device to entertain them. If they are, that's a red flag. Take the thing away from them. Send them outside.
Kids with the best imaginations are the ones that don't have ten million toys and gadgets to entertain them. They are the ones that make the stick into the sword, or the shoeboxes into the barbie mansion,, or the dirt into little rivers (with the aid of a shovel and the hose) or the sheet into the fort. Those are the things I look back on and treasure from my childhood, not the fancy cabbage patch kid that I probably begged and begged and begged for. Yes, she was special, because I only got one "real" one. But the dolls my mom made for me are the ones that I want to keep forever. The homemade blocks I had to play with are more memorable than many of the storebought toys I played with.
Certain family members might mock. Yes, I have always been a tv-aholic, and I spent alot of time in front of the tv as I grew. BUT, I also was an avid reader and spent hours in my room reading books. I also loved my bike, and rode it for hours and hours. I wrote stories that my sister mocked (not that I'm bitter), and I earned awards in church and Camp Fire as I grew older. I had plenty of down time, and I have fond memories of the calm and happiness my simple schedule allowed me. People seem to be under the delusion that giving your child everything you can think of is giving them the best childhood. But really, they're just going to end up with a feeling of entitlement and no imagination. And also no memories of just being a kid.
(As a side note I think adults are overbooking themselves too. Hi, kettle, I'm the pot.)
Put down the calendar and walk away slowly.
Why didn't they have these when I was 5? Hmm??
On the other hand, I had the original muppet show, new episodes of Mr. Rogers, the original Scooby Doo, and many other treats. Now the poor kids have dolls with abnormally large feet dressed inappropriately, cartoons where everyone has freakishly large eyes, and the pressure from their peers to get a cell phone when they are 7. They're totally missing out.
I know, I'm showing my age.
But seriously. When I was a little kid, I remember things being carefree. I remember the city I grew up in having lots of trees, and the main road that is now 6 lanes wide being 2, or maybe it was 4, lanes wide, and the traffic not being completely aggravating. I remember playing with the neighbor kids every day. I don't remember my friends being booked up every night of the week with soccer and dance and Camp Fire and karate and art classes. Not that I object to any of those things. But when I have parents tell me they are out every night of the week taxi-ing their kids around, I think, "are you serious?" I'm unsure when these kids are finding the time to learn how to participate in unstructured play. In the little free time they do have, they are hooked up to something electronic. Kids shouldn't be bored if they don't have an electronic device to entertain them. If they are, that's a red flag. Take the thing away from them. Send them outside.
Kids with the best imaginations are the ones that don't have ten million toys and gadgets to entertain them. They are the ones that make the stick into the sword, or the shoeboxes into the barbie mansion,, or the dirt into little rivers (with the aid of a shovel and the hose) or the sheet into the fort. Those are the things I look back on and treasure from my childhood, not the fancy cabbage patch kid that I probably begged and begged and begged for. Yes, she was special, because I only got one "real" one. But the dolls my mom made for me are the ones that I want to keep forever. The homemade blocks I had to play with are more memorable than many of the storebought toys I played with.
Certain family members might mock. Yes, I have always been a tv-aholic, and I spent alot of time in front of the tv as I grew. BUT, I also was an avid reader and spent hours in my room reading books. I also loved my bike, and rode it for hours and hours. I wrote stories that my sister mocked (not that I'm bitter), and I earned awards in church and Camp Fire as I grew older. I had plenty of down time, and I have fond memories of the calm and happiness my simple schedule allowed me. People seem to be under the delusion that giving your child everything you can think of is giving them the best childhood. But really, they're just going to end up with a feeling of entitlement and no imagination. And also no memories of just being a kid.
(As a side note I think adults are overbooking themselves too. Hi, kettle, I'm the pot.)
Put down the calendar and walk away slowly.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Childhood Memories Mangled Before My Eyes
1. Alvin and the Chipmunks
2. Garfield
3. Another Garfield
4. Carebears with funny shaped heads.
5. Scooby Doo with a new theme song. (although this one is not as objectionable as others)
6. Strawberry Shortcake with a funny shaped head
7. Knight Rider with a KITT voice that is very un-british (Sorry, Val, it's just not working for me).
8. 90210 the next generation. It's DEAD. Let it be dead.
Why must they murder my childhood joys?
2. Garfield
3. Another Garfield
4. Carebears with funny shaped heads.
5. Scooby Doo with a new theme song. (although this one is not as objectionable as others)
6. Strawberry Shortcake with a funny shaped head
7. Knight Rider with a KITT voice that is very un-british (Sorry, Val, it's just not working for me).
8. 90210 the next generation. It's DEAD. Let it be dead.
Why must they murder my childhood joys?
Saturday, April 5, 2008
How You Know if You are a Good Listener
When I was about 5, we went on some kind of trip as a family. All I knew was that we were parked in a line of cars, and my mom kept saying the Fairy was coming. I was very excited. She said, "look, there's the Fairy!" Try as I might, I could not see any pretty winged ladies with pink tutus flying towards me. I must have been looking in the wrong direction. And then we drove onto a special boat to cross the water to get to our destination. I was listening the best I could, but my little 5 year old ears did not understand what my mom was saying. Of course, as an adult, I'm a super good listener, as I'm sure you can all attest. Since I'm SO good at listening, I will now impart my wisdom upon you.
Some things most adults don't know about being a good listener:
1. You should spend time hearing what the person is communicating to you instead of formulating your next question in your head, or deciding what shirt you should wear today. There's an exercise where you listen to a person talk for one minute about a given topic, and your objective is to repeat back what they have said to them at the end of that minute and see if you got what they were saying. Sounds easy, right? Not always so. Especially if you're paying attention to your inner dialogue instead of them.
2. You should ask lots of questions. Try this: the next time you are talking to someone who is spilling out their guts to you, see how long you can keep the conversation going by asking good questions. You would be amazed how long a person can talk if they feel you are genuinely interested in hearing their thoughts.
3. If you are paying attention, you might notice that someone is trying to spill their guts to you. Put down the remote. Back away from the online chess game. You can do it. I know you can.
3. If the person expresses a feeling you consider a little whacky, don't try to frame that feeling for them by putting it in a context you understand. You should try to find out where on earth they are coming from. Because in their world that feeling makes sense. This is where the questions come in.
4. I know you think you are the Yoda of our day and time, but most likely the person pouring out their guts to you is not asking you to solve their problems. So knock it off. It's irritating. Look for key phrases like "what should I do" or, "what would you do?" If you don't hear those phrases, it is quite possible that person is just talking it out. Also it's possible they are not complete idiots and can see the solution right in front of their face. And you listening for five minutes to their problem does not give you the complete picture, so you are just acting like a big, know-it-all jerk offering a really stupid solution.
Some things most adults don't know about being a good listener:
1. You should spend time hearing what the person is communicating to you instead of formulating your next question in your head, or deciding what shirt you should wear today. There's an exercise where you listen to a person talk for one minute about a given topic, and your objective is to repeat back what they have said to them at the end of that minute and see if you got what they were saying. Sounds easy, right? Not always so. Especially if you're paying attention to your inner dialogue instead of them.
2. You should ask lots of questions. Try this: the next time you are talking to someone who is spilling out their guts to you, see how long you can keep the conversation going by asking good questions. You would be amazed how long a person can talk if they feel you are genuinely interested in hearing their thoughts.
3. If you are paying attention, you might notice that someone is trying to spill their guts to you. Put down the remote. Back away from the online chess game. You can do it. I know you can.
3. If the person expresses a feeling you consider a little whacky, don't try to frame that feeling for them by putting it in a context you understand. You should try to find out where on earth they are coming from. Because in their world that feeling makes sense. This is where the questions come in.
4. I know you think you are the Yoda of our day and time, but most likely the person pouring out their guts to you is not asking you to solve their problems. So knock it off. It's irritating. Look for key phrases like "what should I do" or, "what would you do?" If you don't hear those phrases, it is quite possible that person is just talking it out. Also it's possible they are not complete idiots and can see the solution right in front of their face. And you listening for five minutes to their problem does not give you the complete picture, so you are just acting like a big, know-it-all jerk offering a really stupid solution.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Kick Off Your Sunday Shoes
When I was about five (that was for my sister), one of my favorite songs to sing was Footloose. I remember vividly putting on my sunday shoes, going out to the swing set, swinging as high as I could and singing the song at the top of my lungs, and when I got to the line "kick of your sunday shoes," I would kick my shoes off. Then I would stop the swing, go and get my shoes, put them on, and do it all over again. I'm sure my mom was thrilled when she did my laundry, because I seem to remember that I was wearing socks.
My other favorite song was the theme song to The Greatest American Hero
My friend Paul taught it to me when I was about five one day while we played on the slide. We sang it as we "flew" down the slide. Because he flew in that show. Note the super cool special effects. I remember I liked that show when I was little, although my memories consist of his perm and the theme song. They just don't make tv like that anymore.
My other favorite song was the theme song to The Greatest American Hero
My friend Paul taught it to me when I was about five one day while we played on the slide. We sang it as we "flew" down the slide. Because he flew in that show. Note the super cool special effects. I remember I liked that show when I was little, although my memories consist of his perm and the theme song. They just don't make tv like that anymore.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I Hate Plastic Spider Rings.
Let me tell you why. When I was five (okay I don't know how old I was but it was before I moved and my sister makes fun of me for thinking everything happened when I was five), I was wearing one of those little plastic spider rings around Halloween. I remember I was standing on our front porch, and my sister and her friend decided to educate me on those rings. They told me they were real spiders with wax over them made into rings. And while I'm pretty sure I told them I didn't believe them, I pretty promptly removed the spider ring. I've never been able to wear them since. That's right, Amie, you scarred me for life!
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