Wuv is what bwings us togetha today.
Last night I went through an old box of stuff my mom found in their garage. It was pretty much the silliest box of saved stuff I have looked through yet. Mostly it was a bunch of stuff that I should have recycled, were it not for the fact that there was no such thing as curbside recycling (at least in my neighborhood) when I packed it. My favorite was the notebook I carried most places with me when I was 12 or 13. There was page upon page of the most creative game known to teenage girl.
In order to play this game, write your name and the name of your current crush (or all of their names, if they change daily) on the top of the paper. Then, write out the words true love below, and count the number of times those letters appear in your name. Like so:
Holliberry Guttersnipe
T- 2 L- 2
R- 3 O- 1
U- 1 V- 0
E- 3 E- 3
Add the letters together, and then repeat with all other names you want to try. You can check crushes, semi-cute guys, and repulsive guys (the last just for giggles). Then, be sure to check the numbers for every other person you can think of, so you can find out who is Meant to Be Together.
Most importantly, save the results for the next 15-20 years.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Holiday Memories
This year I volunteered to make the pies and the homemade rolls for our family Thanksgiving Feast. Very homemakery of me, right? You are probably all kinds of impressed. You should be impressed. Just in case that alone does not impress you, let me walk you through last year.
The night before Thanksgiving I baked three lovely pies. I believe that there was a trip to the grocery store at some point, after realizing that not only did I not have a pastry blender to make the crust, but I didn't have a rolling pin. After getting the kitchen supplies under control, I commenced pie baking. My philosophy with baking is generally more is more, so I made sure to heap on the apples in my apple pies. I was making two apple pies, one for me, and one to share with my family. (I highly recommend this to anyone baking something yummy to be taken to a large gathering. After all that work, I want more than a piece or two, darnit.) What happened next I blame entirely on K. Somehow it was her fault. She distracted me. I'm sure of it.
As my lovely pies baked, I would peak in on them occassionaly to ensure that they reached the perfect state of golden brown. As they neared the end of their time in the oven, I took a final peak. Cracking open the oven door, I encountered what some might define as a large billow of smoke. I prefer to call it a small cloud of steam. The smoke alarm in the kitchen, I will assure you, works. Said alarm sounded. K found it incredibly amusing that I took the batteries out to resolve the noise issue.
My pies were not burnt. They looked great. Possibly a little lopsided, but they tasted fine. The steam was rising from the bottom of the oven, where some of the many juices from my delectable pies had dripped. Turns out when your pies are too juicy, sugary juices will pool at the bottom of the oven, brown to a lovely molasses color, and then the sugar will crystalize. Also, steam will rise. Oh, and it might not smell as good as the pie. For some reason K still thinks of this every time I bake. Small incident, I say. In fact, I don't think incident is the right word. Moment. It was a small moment in the Holiday Tapestry of 2007.
So I went to bed, possibly fairly late in the evening, having left the task of baking the rolls to complete the following morning. What could be better than to bake the rolls fresh, and take them, still warm from the oven, over to the house where Thanksgiving was being held. The next morning I began the process of mixing the homemade rolls, combining sugar, water, and yeast to disolve together. Next I was supposed to put in a few other ingredients, like shortening, eggs, and salt. I was doing great until the eggs. You know how in Home Ec. they always said you should crack your eggs into a seperate bowl in case there was egg shell to be fished out, or a strangely defective egg? I am here to recommend that you do that every time you bake. I cracked egg number one into the yeasty mix, and discovered what a rotten egg smells like. I only had two eggs, which was the amount I needed, and I'm sure egg number two was rotten as well. I also had no more yeast, having cracked a rotten egg into the yeast/water/sugar mixture. Immediate action had to be taken.
I ran out to my car and pulled out of my parking space, determined to run to the store and back in ten minutes and remedy my roll situation. As I took a left out of my parking lot, I noticed there was a strange dragging sensation as I accelerated. Pulling my car over, I got out and assessed the situation. The tire was indeed flat.
Fortunately my dad required me to learn how to change a tire years ago when I started driving, and I have changes many tires since then for different reasons. I walked my unshowered self in my flour-covered sweats and t-shirt with my greasey unshowered hair around to my trunk and dug out my little spare donut and my car jack. I commenced the tire changing process, as neighbors drove by and man-truck after man-truck passed me. FINALLY someone stopped to help. It was a woman, probably in her 40's who obviously understands The True Meaning of Thansgiving. I was a little crabby by this point, and a little panicked that I would not even make it to Thanksgiving dinner on time. She took pity on my aggravated state and just about changed my tire for me.
When my car was once again in working order, I got in , drove to the store, bought the first bag of rolls that I saw, and went home to shower, change, load up the pies, and go to my parents' house for dinner. I do believe I pretty much got there in time for dinner. And I am fairly certain not one person ate a roll.
The night before Thanksgiving I baked three lovely pies. I believe that there was a trip to the grocery store at some point, after realizing that not only did I not have a pastry blender to make the crust, but I didn't have a rolling pin. After getting the kitchen supplies under control, I commenced pie baking. My philosophy with baking is generally more is more, so I made sure to heap on the apples in my apple pies. I was making two apple pies, one for me, and one to share with my family. (I highly recommend this to anyone baking something yummy to be taken to a large gathering. After all that work, I want more than a piece or two, darnit.) What happened next I blame entirely on K. Somehow it was her fault. She distracted me. I'm sure of it.
As my lovely pies baked, I would peak in on them occassionaly to ensure that they reached the perfect state of golden brown. As they neared the end of their time in the oven, I took a final peak. Cracking open the oven door, I encountered what some might define as a large billow of smoke. I prefer to call it a small cloud of steam. The smoke alarm in the kitchen, I will assure you, works. Said alarm sounded. K found it incredibly amusing that I took the batteries out to resolve the noise issue.
My pies were not burnt. They looked great. Possibly a little lopsided, but they tasted fine. The steam was rising from the bottom of the oven, where some of the many juices from my delectable pies had dripped. Turns out when your pies are too juicy, sugary juices will pool at the bottom of the oven, brown to a lovely molasses color, and then the sugar will crystalize. Also, steam will rise. Oh, and it might not smell as good as the pie. For some reason K still thinks of this every time I bake. Small incident, I say. In fact, I don't think incident is the right word. Moment. It was a small moment in the Holiday Tapestry of 2007.
So I went to bed, possibly fairly late in the evening, having left the task of baking the rolls to complete the following morning. What could be better than to bake the rolls fresh, and take them, still warm from the oven, over to the house where Thanksgiving was being held. The next morning I began the process of mixing the homemade rolls, combining sugar, water, and yeast to disolve together. Next I was supposed to put in a few other ingredients, like shortening, eggs, and salt. I was doing great until the eggs. You know how in Home Ec. they always said you should crack your eggs into a seperate bowl in case there was egg shell to be fished out, or a strangely defective egg? I am here to recommend that you do that every time you bake. I cracked egg number one into the yeasty mix, and discovered what a rotten egg smells like. I only had two eggs, which was the amount I needed, and I'm sure egg number two was rotten as well. I also had no more yeast, having cracked a rotten egg into the yeast/water/sugar mixture. Immediate action had to be taken.
I ran out to my car and pulled out of my parking space, determined to run to the store and back in ten minutes and remedy my roll situation. As I took a left out of my parking lot, I noticed there was a strange dragging sensation as I accelerated. Pulling my car over, I got out and assessed the situation. The tire was indeed flat.
Fortunately my dad required me to learn how to change a tire years ago when I started driving, and I have changes many tires since then for different reasons. I walked my unshowered self in my flour-covered sweats and t-shirt with my greasey unshowered hair around to my trunk and dug out my little spare donut and my car jack. I commenced the tire changing process, as neighbors drove by and man-truck after man-truck passed me. FINALLY someone stopped to help. It was a woman, probably in her 40's who obviously understands The True Meaning of Thansgiving. I was a little crabby by this point, and a little panicked that I would not even make it to Thanksgiving dinner on time. She took pity on my aggravated state and just about changed my tire for me.
When my car was once again in working order, I got in , drove to the store, bought the first bag of rolls that I saw, and went home to shower, change, load up the pies, and go to my parents' house for dinner. I do believe I pretty much got there in time for dinner. And I am fairly certain not one person ate a roll.
Friday, November 21, 2008
What I Did On My Thanksgiving Vacation: Day 1
Today only really half counts as a vacation day, because I did go into work this morning. But I got to leave early this afternoon, and have already felt the joy that vacation brings.
So far, I have taken myself out to lunch at a local Thai restaurant, because I have recently discovered that I heart curry. I took a book with me and ate all alone. It's actually quite liberating to eat in a restaurant alone. You should try it. I would have eaten lunch with a friend, but everyone is either too far away, or they didn't answer their phones. Shame on you all!
Next, I came home, fully intending to spend a quiet afternoon listening to soothing chick music I downloaded on my computer, while reading the very interesting book, "Why Gender Matters," by Leonard Sax. It has fascinating information on the differences between the ways boys and girls think and feel with scientific data to back it up, PLUS it makes me look like a smart person because it's non-fiction, and smart people read non-fiction books. (And no, you can't put "so why does gender matter?" in my comment section. K's got that question covered. She asks me at least once a week... it's taken me a while to get around to reading it).
I got distracted from the smart people book and chick music, though. I was not even intending to log onto the internet, but pretty much if I log onto my computer it logs on to the internet, so I was technically online already, and then I decided to maintain the status of Favorite Aunt (even kids not related by blood want to be my neices and nephews, I'm that cool), and I got online and found an e-card to send to Jumping Bean. He especially needed a card because after quite a long streak of thoroughly not enjoying school, he is beginning to show amazing improvement and even enthusiasm for school. Totally calls for a hoops&yoyo card. Of course it took about an hour for me to choose said hoops&yoyo card.
So now here I sit, in my comfy beanbag, listening to my chick music, and blogging. Which means that I am not reading my smart people book. But I'm on vacation so I'm totally on task. My task, of course, being to relax and not worry about things.
I was talking to Jenna last night, and we were talking about vacation philosophies. Jenna feels that there are two basic philosphies about vacations, with different shades of those philosophies along the vacation philosphy spectrum. On one end are the people who believe that vacation is for relaxing, which means doing whatever you darn well please, even if that involves sleeping in until noon in your hotel in an exciting city. On the other end are the people that believe that when you are on vacation, you have to be DOING something ever minute in order to fully savor the vacation, which means time in the hotel room is a waste of time. I think I fall somewhere in the middle. I am totally okay with the fact that I have not accomplished anything substantial this afternoon, like vacuuming out my yucky car, or cleaning my floor where my purse puked on it, or balancing my checkbook. I do have those tasks on my list of things to complete during my vacation time, because I do enjoy feeling all organized. But I also enjoy ignoring all my duties. Because this bean bag is comfy. And I'm more relaxed than I've been in months.
The other thing I COULD have been doing if not for stupid WB is watching the 6th Harry Potter Movie. Because apparently it was originally scheduled to be released today, but they pushed it back till next summer because it made more sense financially. Lame. So instead of watching the movie, you should watch this. Because we all need to keep a little Harry in our life.
Not over here, not over there...
So far, I have taken myself out to lunch at a local Thai restaurant, because I have recently discovered that I heart curry. I took a book with me and ate all alone. It's actually quite liberating to eat in a restaurant alone. You should try it. I would have eaten lunch with a friend, but everyone is either too far away, or they didn't answer their phones. Shame on you all!
Next, I came home, fully intending to spend a quiet afternoon listening to soothing chick music I downloaded on my computer, while reading the very interesting book, "Why Gender Matters," by Leonard Sax. It has fascinating information on the differences between the ways boys and girls think and feel with scientific data to back it up, PLUS it makes me look like a smart person because it's non-fiction, and smart people read non-fiction books. (And no, you can't put "so why does gender matter?" in my comment section. K's got that question covered. She asks me at least once a week... it's taken me a while to get around to reading it).
I got distracted from the smart people book and chick music, though. I was not even intending to log onto the internet, but pretty much if I log onto my computer it logs on to the internet, so I was technically online already, and then I decided to maintain the status of Favorite Aunt (even kids not related by blood want to be my neices and nephews, I'm that cool), and I got online and found an e-card to send to Jumping Bean. He especially needed a card because after quite a long streak of thoroughly not enjoying school, he is beginning to show amazing improvement and even enthusiasm for school. Totally calls for a hoops&yoyo card. Of course it took about an hour for me to choose said hoops&yoyo card.
So now here I sit, in my comfy beanbag, listening to my chick music, and blogging. Which means that I am not reading my smart people book. But I'm on vacation so I'm totally on task. My task, of course, being to relax and not worry about things.
I was talking to Jenna last night, and we were talking about vacation philosophies. Jenna feels that there are two basic philosphies about vacations, with different shades of those philosophies along the vacation philosphy spectrum. On one end are the people who believe that vacation is for relaxing, which means doing whatever you darn well please, even if that involves sleeping in until noon in your hotel in an exciting city. On the other end are the people that believe that when you are on vacation, you have to be DOING something ever minute in order to fully savor the vacation, which means time in the hotel room is a waste of time. I think I fall somewhere in the middle. I am totally okay with the fact that I have not accomplished anything substantial this afternoon, like vacuuming out my yucky car, or cleaning my floor where my purse puked on it, or balancing my checkbook. I do have those tasks on my list of things to complete during my vacation time, because I do enjoy feeling all organized. But I also enjoy ignoring all my duties. Because this bean bag is comfy. And I'm more relaxed than I've been in months.
The other thing I COULD have been doing if not for stupid WB is watching the 6th Harry Potter Movie. Because apparently it was originally scheduled to be released today, but they pushed it back till next summer because it made more sense financially. Lame. So instead of watching the movie, you should watch this. Because we all need to keep a little Harry in our life.
Not over here, not over there...
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I Love Hugh
I had a roommate freshman year who would mouth "olive juice" to people, because apparently it looks like you are saying "I love you" from across the room. I guess I'm odd, because I'd never heard that before then. I guess it's like saying I love Hugh. Except that when I say that, I mean Hugh Jackman, who was just named sexiest man alive. Which, hello, not arguing with. Any man who can sing, dance, and do high kicks with the Rockettes, and still be manly enough to play Wolverine, totally sexy.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Manners 101
I feel like my mom taught me to be a good girl. I chew with my mouth closed, I sit like a lady in fragile chairs, and I say please, thank you, and excuse me. Oh, and also, I DON'T MAKE APPOINTMENTS AND THEN STAND PEOPLE UP.
Apparently some people do NOT learn manners. None. Whatsoever. I cannot tell you how many times I have sat in Starbucks, drinking my non-caffeinated-I-am-not-a-jack-mormon-apple-cider*, and waited, and waited, and waited. Excuse me, if you can't come, there's something called a phone. Mind you, sometimes there are legitimate reasons, and everything turns out okay. But mostly they are just standing me up. My time is valuable too, people! I have blogs to write and Pride and Prejudice to be watched for the third time this week (just the scenes where Elizabeth first sees Pemberley and also Darcy turns nice).
Also, when you make a committment, and you have to back out, the proper, polite, considerate thing to do would be to call or email the person you have made the commitment to and let them know you are unable to follow through. What not to do: ignore phone calls, emails, faxes, and letters of person who is trying to figure out if you somehow fell and broke your spleen and really you do want to call them back, you just can't right now. This is rude. No answer is, in fact, not an answer. If you think it is you need to go back to Manners 101.
An actual coffee shop in Utah. Jack Mormon, you see, is a term sometimes used to describe a Mormon who is not living all the tenets of the religion. You know, like the one about not drinking coffee.
P.S. Yippy dog downstairs needs to go.
*Best. Cider. Ever.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Stupid Reasons Not to Read My Blog #2
"I don't read blogs." Possibly the stupidest reason I've ever been given for not reading my blog. What does that even mean? How rude is that?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Indubitably. Indubitably. Indubitably.
I have discovered that I really, really enjoy saying indubitably. Try it out. Now say it really fast. Say it again. See how fun this is? LOVE it. According to dictionary.com, it means to "too apparent to be counted. " As in "indubitably is indubitably fun to say."
What are some other fun words?
What are some other fun words?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
This Song Is Totally About Me.
I just took Dr. Phil's personality quiz, and it confirmed what we have always known. I am a vain, self-centered leader. Or, in the words of the quiz summary, "Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you. "
So true. This explains so much, don't you think? Remember that one time?
So true. This explains so much, don't you think? Remember that one time?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
That's It. No more!
From time to time, I am revolted by the way human beings can treat each other. I hear on the news every now and then how one human being tortured, killed, violated, or in some other way robbed another human being of their dignity, sanity, or even life. Those instances of violence repulse me, and are part of the reason I don't often watch the news. Really there is nothing I can personally do about the incident, and agonizing over the pain of those people, and poking into their private pain through the media, doesn't really help anyone. But some things that happen in the world are just so wrong, and so damaging, that I wonder if there isn't something we, as human beings, should be doing, instead of standing by and shaking our heads and turning the channel. I have run across a couple stories on cnn.com in the last few weeks that have left me dumbstruck.
One horrifying incident that caught my attention was the stoning of a thirteen year old girl in Somalia. This girl told officials in her area that she had been raped by three men, and as a result, she was dragged, screaming for mercy, to a "killing hole," burried up to her neck, and stoned to death by fifty men while a thousand specators looked on (according to un.org) for being an adulterer. Oh, and the rapists weren't charged.
The second incident happened in Afghanistan. School girls walking to school Wednesday morning were sprayed with water pistols full of acid on their way to school. It seems that in this particular area, girls did not attend school for from 1996-2001, because the area was ruled by the Taliban during that time, and girls were denied education. It's believed that the men who squirted acid on the girls were Taliban militants. At least two of the girls are blind as a result of the attack.
I've actually been thinking about this post for several weeks now, because there are no words. I started out by thinking these were crimes against women, and that this was a hideous pattern involving the women of our world not receiving the respect and honor that they should. While I know those circumstances exist, I realized that this is something else, equally repulsive and appalling. These are CHILDREN. School girls. The girl who was stoned was 13. The schoolgirls burned by acid were probably about that same age. All I can think to write is, what is WRONG with people. While researching the two incidents, I've come to a realization. What I realized was that none of us like to hear about these incidents. They are unpleasant, and they make us feel uncomfortable and powerless. I believe that this is part of the reason we don't hear much about them. Maybe this is naive of me, but what if we all paid attention? If this were something that we as human beings cared about and and vigilently opposed, wouldn't the people in power do something about it? Wouldn't it become a priority to them? Shouldn't we do something?
One horrifying incident that caught my attention was the stoning of a thirteen year old girl in Somalia. This girl told officials in her area that she had been raped by three men, and as a result, she was dragged, screaming for mercy, to a "killing hole," burried up to her neck, and stoned to death by fifty men while a thousand specators looked on (according to un.org) for being an adulterer. Oh, and the rapists weren't charged.
The second incident happened in Afghanistan. School girls walking to school Wednesday morning were sprayed with water pistols full of acid on their way to school. It seems that in this particular area, girls did not attend school for from 1996-2001, because the area was ruled by the Taliban during that time, and girls were denied education. It's believed that the men who squirted acid on the girls were Taliban militants. At least two of the girls are blind as a result of the attack.
I've actually been thinking about this post for several weeks now, because there are no words. I started out by thinking these were crimes against women, and that this was a hideous pattern involving the women of our world not receiving the respect and honor that they should. While I know those circumstances exist, I realized that this is something else, equally repulsive and appalling. These are CHILDREN. School girls. The girl who was stoned was 13. The schoolgirls burned by acid were probably about that same age. All I can think to write is, what is WRONG with people. While researching the two incidents, I've come to a realization. What I realized was that none of us like to hear about these incidents. They are unpleasant, and they make us feel uncomfortable and powerless. I believe that this is part of the reason we don't hear much about them. Maybe this is naive of me, but what if we all paid attention? If this were something that we as human beings cared about and and vigilently opposed, wouldn't the people in power do something about it? Wouldn't it become a priority to them? Shouldn't we do something?
I Heart Lists!
I found a new little list/quiz to do! My life is complete!
*FOODOLOGY*
What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch. Especially the yummy garlicky ranch at Cheesecake Factory that probably has 2000 calories in one drop, hence the yumminess.
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? The kind with good food. I won't discriminate. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Totally the same answer as the blog I found this on, but so true. Avocado. I LOVE avocado. I never knew I would grow to love it so. As a kid it was just weird and green and kind of flavorless. Come to find out, I was totally wrong. And you can put it on everything.
What are your pizza toppings of choice? The kind that make the pizza good. Again, how does one choose? I like pizzas with lots and lots of topping goodness. It does need to have sufficient cheese on it. And I DO enjoy a good white garlic sauce instead of the red sauce. I'll take it either way, though.
What do you like to put on your toast? Cinnamon and sugar or my homemade Strawberry freezer jam I made with my mommy.
*TECHNOLOGY*
What is your wallpaper on your computer? A leaf.
How many televisions are in your house? 3, but only 1 is used, and we still don't have cable, so not used much.
What color cell phone do you have? Red :)
*BIOLOGY*
Are you right-handed or left-handed? right
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? 4 wisdom teeth. That's it. Only surgery I've ever had, and it wasn't done by an oral surgeon, but by my dentist, so I don't think it counts as surgery. I can tell you all about the noises I heard.
What is the last heavy item you lifted? The stupid pop-up canopy that I carried a mile to where we lined up for the parade I staffed for work.
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? No.
*BULLCRAPOLOGY*
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No. That would give me more time to procrastinate, as I do when I have a deadline. I already find enough excuses to procrastinate. Also it would be kind of depressing.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Um, I wouldn't, because I like my name.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000? Am I allowed to puke afterwards? Because it would not stay down. Also wouldn't that make you really sick or something? How big are we talking?
*DUMBOLOGY*
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? one.
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Um, well, there was the time they took me to the drunk tank last week, and the time they came and told me and K to quiet down or they would break up our raging party....
What do you want to be when you grow up? Independently wealthy and a professional volunteer. Or a travel guide. But still independently wealthy either way.
Last person you talked to? My coworker.
Last person you hugged? Um, someone who gave a LAME hug.
FAVORITOLOGY*
Season? Whatever the current one is, usually. Although I do like having more than two hours of sunshine a day.
Holiday? You will be surprised to learn it is Christmas.
Day of the week? Friday- but only if i don't have to work the next day.
Month? December.
*CURRENTOLOGY*
Missing someone? sure.
Mood? blah.
Listening to? The clock tick in my office.
Watching? The clock, because soon my break will be over and I will be off to a meeting. Worrying about? My recruitment goal and money.
*RANDOMOLOGY*
First place you went this morning? a meeting for work.
What can you not wait to do? Go home.
What's the last movie you saw? Max Payne.
Do you smile often? No. Never. I'm a bitter, bitter girl.
*FOODOLOGY*
What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch. Especially the yummy garlicky ranch at Cheesecake Factory that probably has 2000 calories in one drop, hence the yumminess.
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? The kind with good food. I won't discriminate. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Totally the same answer as the blog I found this on, but so true. Avocado. I LOVE avocado. I never knew I would grow to love it so. As a kid it was just weird and green and kind of flavorless. Come to find out, I was totally wrong. And you can put it on everything.
What are your pizza toppings of choice? The kind that make the pizza good. Again, how does one choose? I like pizzas with lots and lots of topping goodness. It does need to have sufficient cheese on it. And I DO enjoy a good white garlic sauce instead of the red sauce. I'll take it either way, though.
What do you like to put on your toast? Cinnamon and sugar or my homemade Strawberry freezer jam I made with my mommy.
*TECHNOLOGY*
What is your wallpaper on your computer? A leaf.
How many televisions are in your house? 3, but only 1 is used, and we still don't have cable, so not used much.
What color cell phone do you have? Red :)
*BIOLOGY*
Are you right-handed or left-handed? right
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? 4 wisdom teeth. That's it. Only surgery I've ever had, and it wasn't done by an oral surgeon, but by my dentist, so I don't think it counts as surgery. I can tell you all about the noises I heard.
What is the last heavy item you lifted? The stupid pop-up canopy that I carried a mile to where we lined up for the parade I staffed for work.
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? No.
*BULLCRAPOLOGY*
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No. That would give me more time to procrastinate, as I do when I have a deadline. I already find enough excuses to procrastinate. Also it would be kind of depressing.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Um, I wouldn't, because I like my name.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000? Am I allowed to puke afterwards? Because it would not stay down. Also wouldn't that make you really sick or something? How big are we talking?
*DUMBOLOGY*
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? one.
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Um, well, there was the time they took me to the drunk tank last week, and the time they came and told me and K to quiet down or they would break up our raging party....
What do you want to be when you grow up? Independently wealthy and a professional volunteer. Or a travel guide. But still independently wealthy either way.
Last person you talked to? My coworker.
Last person you hugged? Um, someone who gave a LAME hug.
FAVORITOLOGY*
Season? Whatever the current one is, usually. Although I do like having more than two hours of sunshine a day.
Holiday? You will be surprised to learn it is Christmas.
Day of the week? Friday- but only if i don't have to work the next day.
Month? December.
*CURRENTOLOGY*
Missing someone? sure.
Mood? blah.
Listening to? The clock tick in my office.
Watching? The clock, because soon my break will be over and I will be off to a meeting. Worrying about? My recruitment goal and money.
*RANDOMOLOGY*
First place you went this morning? a meeting for work.
What can you not wait to do? Go home.
What's the last movie you saw? Max Payne.
Do you smile often? No. Never. I'm a bitter, bitter girl.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
I Am A Christmas-aholic
I am not actually the one who has been putting up the Christmas decorations, it's been K, but she has done it with my full support. Yesterday I came home from work to this:
Note the stockings, hung with care.
I'm okay with this early explosion of Christmas. I enjoy the twinkle of the lights on a Christmas tree, and the cheery sound of a good Christmas song. I have not yet broken out the Christmas music but that just might happen today. I don't get particularly worked up about the commercial part of the holiday. The part of the commercialism that DOES bother me is not actually all the ads and displays that are already out. How am I supposed to start decorating early if I can't go get a Christmas tree or decorations? It's the cheesy, pretending not to be commercial stuff that irritates me. The highly sentimental books that people publish, purporting to be about the "true" meaning of Christmas, do have their place. The part that I find silly is that people who read them and tout them as good buys use as their selling points that they are not about the commercialism that pervades our society, but about the True Meaning of Christmas. Um, is that author not making money? Didn't their highly sappy book getting published help to build their career?
If you are into sappy books, I fully support your decision to collect these Christmas stories. Just please, please, please don't make me sit through a teary reading of them. I prefer sappy Christmas music, thank you very much.
*For those of you concerned that we are missing out on the joy that is Thanksgiving, note the pumpkins mingled in on the mantle and in front of the tv. It's a happy marriage of the two holidays.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Top 10 Ways to Silence a Yippy Dog
1. Give him something to chew on, like a bone, or his owners shoes, er something.
2. Introduce him to "Frogger."
3. Tranquilizer darts.
4. Lull him to sleep with the dulcet tones of my singing voice (I don't care what you say, K)
5. Give him a huge bowl of peanut butter to eat.
6. Buy him his very own muzzle.
7. Turn on Wishbone. Maybe one of his Austen ones. Because who, even an annoying little yippy dog, is not entertained by Wishbone?
8. Give him a big bowl of water.
(Just keep in mind, she's housebroken, as K's coworker assures us)
Note: the woman laughing hysterically behind the camera is K
9. Shoot him with a squirt gun.
10. Distract my neighbor while he makes his get-away. Be free, little doggy!
2. Introduce him to "Frogger."
3. Tranquilizer darts.
4. Lull him to sleep with the dulcet tones of my singing voice (I don't care what you say, K)
5. Give him a huge bowl of peanut butter to eat.
6. Buy him his very own muzzle.
7. Turn on Wishbone. Maybe one of his Austen ones. Because who, even an annoying little yippy dog, is not entertained by Wishbone?
8. Give him a big bowl of water.
(Just keep in mind, she's housebroken, as K's coworker assures us)
Note: the woman laughing hysterically behind the camera is K
9. Shoot him with a squirt gun.
10. Distract my neighbor while he makes his get-away. Be free, little doggy!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
See that thing ------------------------>
The poll to the right. You should take it. For my entertainment. Because it will amuse me. And then I will stop. Using incomplete sentences, that is.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Dream a Little Dream
I'm a dreamer. I seem to have quite a few more dreams than my average friend. Here are a few dreams I seem to have a lot:
1. The one where I find myself once again attending my highschool. I haven't had this one in a while, but occasionally it crops up. I am my true age in these dreams, and panicking because I realize that I have had qutie a few absences since I was 18, and I'm not sure how I'll make them up. Sometimes, I am worrying about attending work and classes at the same time. Typically at some point in the dream I'm trying to figure out where I parked my car, which would be confusing indeed since I never drove to school in High School. I also usually come to the realization that as an adult I can sign my own absence slips, and try to work up the courage to skip. But I worry that I will get in trouble with the office for turning in my own absences. And I worry that I will have too many absences to graduate. Mind you, in these dreams I always have my college degree already.
2. The one where I start floating upward, kind of like Charlie and his grandpa in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory, when they have to belch to get down. Only I usually just float higher and higher and higher. At first it's usually fun. At first I can use my super flying powers to fly about, and spy on people, and have a bird's eye view of what's going on. And then it all spins out of control and I just keep floating higher and higher. And then I wake up. Let me tell you, that's a great way to start your day. I wake up feeling like Major Tom.
3. The one where I'm driving down a hill on a curvy road, and I discover I have no brake. It's a pretty short dream. Coincidentally, I generally have that dream in times of stress. Odd.
4. The one where I wake up and see a big black spider in my bed next to my head/on the wall/on the ceiling over me/hanging over me. This one is especially exciting because I will literally get out of bed. I will turn on the lights. I will check under my sheets, down on the floor, and all around. There was one incident where I walked out of my room, went downstairs, got the vacuum to vacuum it up, plugged it in, and ALMOST turned it on. Then it occured to me that my parents might be cranky if I vacuumed over their room at 2 in the morning. Also I realized there was no spider. I usually wake up enough to realize that there is no actual spider. Although sometimes I think he's just hiding....
1. The one where I find myself once again attending my highschool. I haven't had this one in a while, but occasionally it crops up. I am my true age in these dreams, and panicking because I realize that I have had qutie a few absences since I was 18, and I'm not sure how I'll make them up. Sometimes, I am worrying about attending work and classes at the same time. Typically at some point in the dream I'm trying to figure out where I parked my car, which would be confusing indeed since I never drove to school in High School. I also usually come to the realization that as an adult I can sign my own absence slips, and try to work up the courage to skip. But I worry that I will get in trouble with the office for turning in my own absences. And I worry that I will have too many absences to graduate. Mind you, in these dreams I always have my college degree already.
2. The one where I start floating upward, kind of like Charlie and his grandpa in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory, when they have to belch to get down. Only I usually just float higher and higher and higher. At first it's usually fun. At first I can use my super flying powers to fly about, and spy on people, and have a bird's eye view of what's going on. And then it all spins out of control and I just keep floating higher and higher. And then I wake up. Let me tell you, that's a great way to start your day. I wake up feeling like Major Tom.
3. The one where I'm driving down a hill on a curvy road, and I discover I have no brake. It's a pretty short dream. Coincidentally, I generally have that dream in times of stress. Odd.
4. The one where I wake up and see a big black spider in my bed next to my head/on the wall/on the ceiling over me/hanging over me. This one is especially exciting because I will literally get out of bed. I will turn on the lights. I will check under my sheets, down on the floor, and all around. There was one incident where I walked out of my room, went downstairs, got the vacuum to vacuum it up, plugged it in, and ALMOST turned it on. Then it occured to me that my parents might be cranky if I vacuumed over their room at 2 in the morning. Also I realized there was no spider. I usually wake up enough to realize that there is no actual spider. Although sometimes I think he's just hiding....
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