Books for Your Must Read List

There are certain books that shaped me into the fine upstanding woman I am today. If you are in a quandry what to read next, here's a list of books to help you on your way to being just as fine and upstanding.

1. Little House on the Prairie, By Laura Ingalls Wilder. The true story of a young girl and her adventures as she and her family moved across the prairie to discover new frontiers and settle in new surroundings. I personally enjoyed the later books when "Manly" came courting. Nothing makes a girl swoon more than a man willing to ride through a blizzard with horses with no auto defrost on their nostrils just to see you.

2. The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis. A witty look at the weaknesses of man as seen through the eyes of the demon correspondants, Screwtape and Wormwood, as they work to draw man down a slippery slope to hell. What could be more fun?

3. The Princess Diaries, by Meg Cabot. An awkward teenager discovers she is a princess, and struggles with this new duty, as well as other growing pains connected with making it through high school. Not written for 10 year old girls, contrary to the belief of many a parent who likes the Disney movie. More a middle/high school kid demographic, which makes it perfect for me. I still need to get my hands on the 10th and final book in the series. Will she realize who her One True Love is? And what college will she go to? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

4. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. My favorite novel since I read it the first time when I was 14. Mr. Darcy is mine, and the rest of you who say you are going to marry him can just back off.

5. Anne of Green Gables, by Lucy Maude Montgomery. If you have to pick between reading the books and watching the movies, pick the books. Anne taught me about kindred spirits, and how reading the epitaphs in graveyards can be lots of fun. Good meaty stuff.

6. Slugs, by David Greenberg. When I did a search on Amazon for Slugs, it came back with "did you mean: plugs? Oh, yes. Silly me. I knew that Amazon would be able to find the word that was eluding me. Thank heavens for their smart, smart search engine. Otherwise I would have an incomplete ear jewelry collection.

7. Princess Bride, by S. Morgenstern. The Pit of Despair is ten times more interesting in the book than what they had time for in the movie. I do have to warn you though, there's kissing not in The Pit, silly!).

8. The Three Musketeers, by Alexandre Dumas. I found this book hysterical in high school. I can't tell you why because I haven't read it since, but I have determined to read it again soon to remember. Just trust me that it was funny, and it has made me the woman I am today. I feel like I should be a sword wielding horse rider.... Or at least have a fleur de lys on my back. Except that would mean I am a murderess. I think that's bad.

9. Ramona the Pest, by Beverly Cleary. I will never crack an egg on my head, even if I believe it is boiled. I will always call girls with really curly hair Susie with the Boing Boing curls, even if it is just mentally. I will never call a girl with acne pizza face. These are just a few of the life lessons in the Ramona books.

10. A Room with a View, by E.M. Forster. What's more comic than three men streaking through the forest as the ladies wander by in 1900 England? Some day I want to go to Italy and have a room with a view.

Things You Might Want to Avoid Posting on Myface #1

Am I the only one who has seen those little invites to join groups that have titles like "Joe and Buffy are getting married!"? I've noticed that often they are set so anyone can join. They also often seem to be "open" meaning anyone can read the wall. If that's true, why would you post your full address on the wall? I know you want an invitation, but really? Are you new?

And I Shall Call Him Henry.

I saw some wildlife while I was in Orlando. My favorite sighting was this one:

I wanted to see one sunning itself on the side of the lake, but was never so lucky. One of the southern ladies at the conference scoffed at me for suggesting such a thing could happen. I don't like her anymore.

I Need Me Some Validation.

Myface won't validate me. That is, I'm trying to change my status from "Holliberry is crabby" to something else, and it tells me that "a validation error has occured." You're telling me.

The Day After the First Day

On Day TWO of my Journey Into the Land of Magic, I went to Epcot and Hollywood Studios. I went to Hollywood Studios first, since a girl has to have priorities.

This was my first stop:

I don't know if you are aware of this, but I love the muppets. And there is a whole muppet show there. My only disappointment was that there was BARELY any Muppet merchandise in the Muppet store. What's up with that, Disney?

Next I went here:
I hit the countries first, because they sounded the coolest to me. And I walked. And walked. And walked. And walked. And walked. My feet may never forgive me.

I scooted back to the Magic Kingdom just in time for the Parade of Bright Things, and to pick up a few last-minute souvenirs.

Also, I learned an important thing, that I will apply should I ever go there with children. Don't take them into the gift shop after the parade, people. You're just asking for a meltdown when you say no to the hideous backscratcher cup holder fluffy thing. I should have counted how many kids I saw having meltdowns. If I had a dollar for every kid I saw crying, I could totally pay for a great souvenir.

And the evening was topped off by a lovely bus ride home, complete with the helicopter mom who would not lay off poor Angelina. I can tell you that her name was Angelina because mom would not stop saying her name. This kid was probably 7, and mom every 20 seconds was saying her name. And over stupid things. She wantd her to hold onto a SPECIFIC hand rail, even though there were two, and the one she was holding onto was just as sturdy as the higher one. Also, she was worried about her falling despite the fact that she was SITTING on the step midway through the bus (we were short seats, and she was also VERY concerned about her husband, who was forced to stand beside her. Why we should feel sorry for him I don't know, because despite the large beer belly, he seemed just as able as the rest of us to stand.

Turns out I get judgemental when I'm tired.

The Land That Smells Like Sunshine and Dreams.

As I type, I am sitting in the very exciting Houston airport. The first thing I will note is that Houston makes you pay almost EIGHT BUCKS for their wifi for just 24 hours, while Orlando has free wifi, at least in the part of their airport that has NOT been remodeled. Yes, I paid that much just to use my wifi. But I am on a layover, and the impulse to blog and check Myface was TOO tempting.

I spent two very magical days in the magical place where they have magical sunshine to help grow their magical rainbows and unicorns. That's right, Disneyworld. My feet have still not forgiven me for it.

The Castle.

The princesses.

Baby Girl, in her princess dress. She could totally show those princess how to work that gown. This is taken after Christmas, not in Disneyland. I feel like Alice would want me to clarify that the few pieces of clutter on the ground behind her were recently placed there by Baby Girl, and that the room is not as messy as it might look. Just so you know.

The way I know I came back to the hotel from the Magic Kingdom not a moment too soon is that I got into the elevator, waited for the doors to close, and then found myself wondering why the car wasn't moving. After a minute. A minute of standing there. Thinking about my room. And not moving towards it.

K's Very Special Vocab Help List

Living with someone, you get to find out what words what years they use over and over and over. For me, it's words like ghetto, and seriously, and for crying out loud. For K, it is other words. I urge you to add these words to your own vocabulary, as they will make your life richer.

1. Dirty bird. Referring to people with naughty thoughts, or sometimes skeezy men.
2. Coo. As in "that's coo." She texts it that way too. I'm proud to report that she does NOT text "kewl." Dorkiest text slang ever. It doesn't even shorten the amount of buttons to be pressed. And 31 year-old men should not be using it. It's a clear indication that they still think they are 19, even though they are clearly not (I can say this because said man is one of the "I don't read blogs" people, and will therefore occassionally be the subject of my ridicule on my blog, since he won't read it. Not that I'm bitter.").
3. NASTY. Can be referring to food, inappropriately dressed people (read: people with things hanging out that shouldn't be), undesirable smells, and things dirty birds do and say.

Those are the three that come readily to mind. Mind you, I've only talked to her once in the last week, seeing as how I've been on my Magical Trip to Orlando.

Happy Single Awareness Day

I have a present for all my singles friends. The rest of you can go take your little pink and red wearing selves, and go be all gooshy. We will be over here, eating our candy.

Why I Hate Crafts

Okay, maybe hate is a strong word. Maybe I should say Why I Do Not Enjoy Crafting. It's not that I don't value crafts. I have friends, like K, who are very crafty, and can do amazing things with crafts. I am not one of those people. When I make crafts, they end up looking like the creations of a three year old. Not to knock the creations of Little Man. He is turning three this week, and is quite a handyman. But my creations are always the crooked, limp, sad looking crafts.

My lack of love for crafting does not come from my craft-challengedness, either. I am actually not generally too concerned about my craft looking perfect. In fact I'm quite proud of my odd looking little creations. I've come to realize something about myself recently. I don't enjoy crafting. I don't care that my craft looks funny because for the most part I just want to be done with the craft. I think that when you really enjoy a hobby, it gives you a good feeling, like a buzz, when you are doing that activity. When I craft, I am bored. I want to be doing something else. I usually finish quickly (or don't finish at all) and then dance around or tell stories or sing songs while my more crafty friends take HOURS to complete their crafts because they derive pleasure from their creation (all the while trying to figure out if it is wrong to hot glue my lips together). I do not derive that pleasure.

The one exception would be my pottery. I love throwing pottery. I don't mind taking the time to create it. I love to show it to people. I love to give it as gifts. If I've given you pottery, that means you have one of my babies, and I gave it to you because you're special and I believe that you will give it a good home. If I think you will laugh at my pottery or make comments about how hideous it is later after I leave, you can't have it. If you've received pottery from me in the past and made fun of it, I want it back. If you hesitate in accepting my pottery when offered, you may never get a piece of pottery from me again. You've now been duly warned.

You only wish you owned creations like this.

Tips for Being a Good Friend on Birthdays

Birthdays are a special day no matter what the age! Take the time to make your friend's birthday the best it can be by planning ahead and thinking about the details. It's the little things they will remember!

Be sure to include lots of black in your decorating scheme. Black for birthday decorating is always classy.

Recognize that each year is special. I prefer spelling out the age with food. Little Fluff does also. He feels that it is important to celebrate the moments of our lives with sweet little morsels of food.

Confetti is an important piece of the equation (it's on the table, just trust me). Make sure to put confetti everywhere, especially in shoes, pockets, and in beds. That's a big birthday girl pleaser. Also presents are a birthday girl pleaser.

Little surprises are extra fun! I like to leave little messages in unexpected places.


Individualize your birthday treats. I chose a theme this year, and little man with the walker was a star player. Note the way he is placed on the Steel Cut Oats. I had never heard of these. I think it's an old people delicacy.

Other tips to consider:

1. Dry erase markers work on mirrors! Leave little notes. This also work for non-occasion messages. Like, "have a great day!" and "don't forget to make me a cake!"

2. Fresh baked things on the morning of that special person's birthday are wonderful! I had a roommate freshman year who got up earlier in the morning than should be allowed in order to have sticky buns ready for me before I left for school. Mmm.

3. Experiences stick in your memory longer than possessions. Gifts with meaning behind them are great! Even better are gifts of experiences. For instance, you could get them concert tickets, a dinner out with you, passes to a theme park, or plane tickets. I most enjoy the last listed item. I actually received a plane ticket from my wonderful freshman roommates because they wanted me to be able to go home for Thanksgiving to see my family. But that's another post.

4. Treasure hunts can be fun. If you are planning fun for a friend who is tolerant of a little cheesiness, you can do a little mission impossible themed birthday hunt. We did this my freshman year, with clues leading her all over campus, leading her back to our apartement where there were friends and a cake waiting to surprise her. It was good times. My favorite was the mission impossible tape we recorded to kick things off, and the man in suit and sunglasses who delivered it. Ah, the good old BYU days. We knew how to party.

Peanut Butter Bandits

I read things like this and it just makes me hear this. Them peanut butter thugs better watch out.

The Warm Fuzzies

Things that give me the warm fuzzies:
1. Nice notes, letters, and cards, written from the heart.
2. Kittens.
3. Babies.
4. Gifts with Meaning.
5. Chocolate.
6. Sleep.
7. When people fix things for me out of the goodness of their hearts.
8. When strangers help me when I'm stuck.
9. Thank you cards from my peeps I manage that recognize that I work hard for them.
10. Knight Rider.
11. Presents given "just because."
12. Surprises. At least good surprises.

Going Somewhere Deeper

Today while I was at the University of Oprah (held on my comfy bean bag) today, I learned something from Professor Jim Carey. He was talking about his girlfriend's autistic son, and how because he couldn't get the kind of interaction from the kid that he was used to getting from kids, and because the kid wasn't (outwardly at least) loving him to death, he learned that to really love a person is to be there for them unconditionally, regardless of what you're getting out of it. He said it's about going somewhere deeper. Deep, Jimmy, deep.

So how can I apply Professor Carey's instruction to my life? I'm not sure. But I can tell you how other people can apply it.

People with kids should recognize that loving your kids the best you can isn't about how much they adore you. It's about raising them not to be brats, and to say please and thank you, and to be polite, and not to steal, and not to pick their noses. So if they pitch a fit and throw a tantrum and tell you they hate you or that you need to go have a time out, you should lovingly tell them to go to their room. Or at the very least, lovingly not give them what they think they can get by acting like a brat.

People with friends should do nice things for their friends, like pick them up from the airport, make them cookies, take them soup when they are sick, and leave notes on their milk cartons, and they shouldn't just do it to prove what a good friend they are. Also, they should listen to their friends when they have problems, and be there for them, instead of being all know-it-all-ish and try to solve their problems.

Since I have totally mastered both of these areas, I am happy to offer advice. Especially to people with kids. I'm so set in that area. I guess I'm just ahead of the curve like that. Just like I knew how to drive a car even before I'd ever been in one. I'm amazing like that.

Also, when you feel it, you heal it. Jimmy said so.

So This is What You People Do

For two nights in a row I've gotten off work at a somewhat normal time. Early enough to watch jeopardy and maybe catch a Dr. Phil before primetime. With so much time to kill, I've had a whole new set of options for ways to spend my time open up to me. Here's some things you can do when you get home before 9:30 at night:

1. Make dinner. Apparently they have these things called grocery stores, and they don't hand you the food out the window. You have to go inside and pick out food items, and then take them home and cook them. Work-intensive, I know, but surprisingly rewarding.
2. Do dishes. I guess those cupboards are more than just decoration. You can keep dishes in them!
3. Check the mail. And it's not even midnight!
4. Take out the recycling that is slowly expanding like a paper and plastic blob under my kitchen sink.
5. Go to stores, because they are still open!

You may think that doesn't sound like a very exciting evening, but let me tell you, it was a whole new shiney world for me. And I realized that if I had a grown-up job, I could do other exciting stuff at night. Stuff like:

1. Read books. Okay, I realize I could do that at 10 at night as easily as at 7. But I would have more time to both read a book AND do other stuff.
2. Do a puzzle. Not that I own any. Or want to. But I could. I enjoy a good puzzle at the appropriate time.
3. Learn french. Je m'appelle holliberry. J'aime les cadeaux. Ou le cadeaux. Je ne sais pas, mon petit chou.
4. Do a budget. Like one of those crazy ones where you enter in everything you spend and everything you take in and then color code it and determine that you are spending too much on puzzles. Not that there's anything wrong with that, Brent.
5. Sand and repaint our end table. Because I think K is waiting for me to do that. And there it sits, in all it's wrong-shade of brown glory.
6. Knit. I've always intended to knit something.
7. Hang the shelves I got for Christmas that are sitting on my floor. It's very hard to commit to hanging something like that on the wall. What if I choose the wrong spot? Holes in the wall don't undo themselves, silly.
8. Read my scriptures, pray, meditate, and work on Being a Better Person.
9. Blog.
10. Create a new mix take. Perhaps one with the all time best stalking mix. I know you are hoping I will blog about that. Just you wait.

Of course, most of those things I could do when I get home at 9 or 9:30. But it's so late.... And yes, I could do these things in the morning, since usually I only work 8 hour days. But that requires all kinds of energy, and (and I don't know if you're aware of this) I am not a morning person.

I think this is the part where the self-help book tells me that it's all about priorities and I can do ALL those things if I make them a priority and stop lollygagging. But 9 o'clock is not 5 o'clock and things you do at 5 o'clock do not belong at 9 o'clock.

Appreciating the Magical Things in Life

I was very proud of myself for filing so early this year, and I thought my joy at getting my refund so early could not be greater (unless they just decided I deserve extra), until I discovered something Magical and Wonderful. If you have already filed, you can go to the IRS website here and enter in a few key details to identify yourself, you can check on when they will deposit the money into your account, or mail your check. And the IRS told me exactly what day they intend to send the money. How cool is that? I can't even get my bank to give me that kind of information. The world is full of rainbows and unicorns now. And I will not have to stay in a cardboard box during my trip to Disney World later this month.