Happiness is...

1. Smelling old books. And reading them. In the park, if possible.

2. Grilled sandwich with sprouts, tomato, and avocado, with more avocado on the side. And also eating it on my homemade pottery is fun too.

This concludes 30 Days of Fun Day 2.

Joy, Happiness, and all that Rot

So, my friend Dizzle has been posting on MyFace about fun things in her life that bring her joy in big and little ways. She is calling it her thirty days of fun. Also, to give credit where credit is due, she got it from Mighty Girl. Dizzle has inspired me, which is amazing considering my current all-encompassing apathy. I shall try to post things each day that I am doing that are fun or that bring me joy.This might be very hard for me. I do not believe it will count to say "walked to the park" every day. Shoot. I might have to widen my lens and junk and do things outside of my little routine I got going here. Yes, that was poor grammar. I put it there just for you, Dizzle.

So my happy thing for today?

Reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in the sunshine in the park after work. I walked there. There was fresh air and sunshine and exercise and all kinds of healthy things involved.

I am Not Well-Read.

I know this because I've been looking at lists of books people put together that are supposed to be like these definitive lists of books in certain categories.

1. Top 100 Classics

2. Top 1,001 Books You Should Read Before You Die,

3. Top 100 Worst Books Ever Written (which was clearly put together by a moron, because they put To Kill a Mockingbird on it.),

4. Top 100 books from the last decade,

5. Top 100 Books from the 21st century (which, um, isn't that the same?)

6. Top 100 Books from the 20th century

7. Books Every Woman Should Read

Looking at all these lists has pretty much confirmed what I suspected: the education system has failed me. Somehow I managed to take English classes that didn't require more than one or two books that year. And sometimes they were classics. Should have taken a lit class in college. Then maybe I would not have 300 trillion billion books to read this year to catch up.

If I Were Rich

Lately I have made the statement "if I were rich I would..." quite a few times. I think I have brilliant ideas of what to do with money. Somebody should give me a lot, and then I will spend it for them. Because, if I were rich, I would:

1. Buy a house where one room was dedicated entirely to being a library. There would be a fireplace to keep it toasty in the winter. There would be big windows to let in lots of light, and it would look out on a naturey view. By naturey I mean green. Dirt is not nature. It's dirt. And it would be covered from wall to wall with books. Good books. Some of them with really pretty binding, and some of them falling apart because they are so good they get read that much. There would be multiple editions of Austen books. Because I already own multiple editions. As should you.

2. fly to fun destinations for vacation. Often those destinations would be decided by the great book I have just read. Because I can go walk in the footsteps of the characters. Or in the case of nonfiction, I could continue the learning fun. Also, movies that make me want to go places would help me plan vacations. And I could watch that movie ON THE FLIGHT THERE.

3. Have a closet for my purses. Because I want to buy lots of pretty purses. I blame this on Dizzle. She keeps sending me links. She's the devil.

4. Have lots of shoes, preferably ones that don't try to eat my foot like the ones I wore today. Also, I would surgically alter my feet to be the same size. I don't recall this being an issue, but recently my left shoe has been roomier than my right shoe. I think my left foot is shrinking. Also, as a result of trying to keep an even stride and not lose my left shoe, I think my left calf is larger than my right. Sexy.

5. Have my own little pottery studio. Because I like pottery.The end.

You'll notice I didn't put anything of a philanthropic nature on my list. This is because my heart is three sizes too small. Also, because um, duh, I can find some "causes" to support, but if you don't know what they are, most likely we have not met and also you have not read my blog. But mostly because I'm petty and self-centered.

Goals: A Reason to Make a List

I don't seem to have posted my New Year's Resolutions last year. I decided to make them all private and meaningful or something. I know I posted them in 2008. I feel the urge to post something this year, although you may not get the whole list. I do like a good list, and I will most likely have more resolutions than all of you combined (yes, all three of you) by the time I'm through. Here's just a smattering of my Resolutions:

1. Exercise, therefore not incurring my sister's mockery and potential wrath for requesting a heart rate monitor for Christmas and not using it. I totally have done this for three days in a row now. As I mentioned once way back when, I'm a firm believer in having unambiguous goals that you can actually reach. So instead of "exercise more" (which I suppose I've already achieved for the year), I shall say, run a ten minute mile. Shut up, stupid in shape people. Also there's more to the goal, but I'm not going to tell you now because you just got lippy. See how you vex me?

2. Spend more time with my teenagery niece and nephew. This will not be very hard, because "more" can be accomplished by one stint of quality time with either one outside of family events. Bad auntie. Also spend some more time with my little squirts. Little Brother is almost convinced it's safe to let me hold him now. I'm making some serious progress here.

3. Quit smoking. Oh... wait... hmm. Well. Check.

4. Find a new way to volunteer. Simmer down, there, Dizzle. I mean in ADDITION to Camp Fire, not instead of. Because my Camp Fire kids love me, as they should. And volunteering broadens your horizons and gives you new skills, as well as sharpening old ones. Also you can put them on your resume. I realized that last year.

5. Read the whole Book of Mormon from front to back at least once during the year. You know, instead of losing my place and starting over all the time. So I can be all religious-like and spiritual. I'm also thinking I shall read the whole Old Testament, since that's what we're studying in Sunday School. And um, just to clarify to my not Mormons, this is in addition to studying the scriptures by topic at church and stuff. I read 'em, I swear.

6. Learn more about the people I work with. Read books about mental illnesses. Learn more about addiction. Read some books on alcoholism. Read some books to understand other cultures. Phew, I need to be reading me some books. Let me know if you have recommendations.

What are your resolutions? Or are you resolution haters?

Literacy is Hot

In my continuing quest to celebrate all the special holidays in the month of September, I would like to honor Read a New Book Month today. Because September is Read a New Book month. But you knew that, so I'm just being patronizing here. In honor of this month-o-literacy, I will highlight a few of my favorite books I've read in the last year.

First, there is The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins.

This book reminded me slightly of The Lottery. You know, that short story we had to read in high school that I will never, ever forget. If you've read The Lottery you will know what I mean. It's a fantasy book, based on a post-apocalyptic type world where the US is split up into "districts," where the survivors reside, and there is a capitol city where the ruling class lives. Each year, for the entertainment of the elite and to keep all the district people from rebelling, their children are entered into a lottery, and two from each district participate in a reality show of competition called the Hunger Games. Super good. I felt like the world Suzanne Collins constructed was complete and fascinating. Can't wait to read the next book in the series. I believe it's a trilogy, and book number two is out, waiting for me on a bookshelf somewhere and calling my name.

Next on my list is A Great and Terrible Beauty, by Libba Bray. I swear I don't read that much fantasy, but this is also a fantasy book. A fantastic fantasy book.

The main character, Gemma Doyle, lost her mother at a young age, and then was shipped off to a boarding school for girls. There, she begins to discover these magical powers she seems to possess. She also makes some good friends, and they have adventures, discovering a whole world together. Like Hunger Games, I was fascinated with the way the author constructed a complete world, incorporating the world we know with her own magical world. It was also a good girl power kind of book, with strong female teenage characters, and strong friendships. And it's a trilogy, which means the fun is multiplied by three! The only bummer was that by the end of the book I was hooked on this author, and I discovered that she has not written that much, and the other books she has written don't seem to fall in the same category as this trilogy.

Next in my literary line-up is The Missing Piece Meets the Big O, by Shel Silverstein.

There is much symbolism to be found here. I read this book to my teenagers at the leadership retreat we just had, and I felt like it was a really good message for them, as teenagers on the cusp of adulthood, and for me, as an adult on the cusp of... adulthood. Parallels can be drawn to relationships--both friendships and romantic relationships--quite easily. But I also have drawn parallels to other parts of my life. The, "if I meet this career goal I will be happy," part of me. And the "if I move (insert geographical location to escape to here) I will be happy," phenomenon I have been observing in young adults I know.

The last book I would like to recommend is At Home in Mitford, by Jan Karon. This is a nice laid back book with happy thoughts and sunshine infused into the pages.

Pastor Tim serves a small flock in a small town. We keep him company as he goes about serving his flock, and the thoughts he has. If you like a thoughtful scripture reference thrown into your reading here and there, this is the book for you. I really like the way he will ponder how to help people struggling in the story, and to be the best person he can throughout the series. It inspired me to examine my own thought process and try to intentionally visit and revisit in my mind how I can be the best friend and sister and aunt and daughter I can be. And sometimes I even do nice stuff . Look at me, all growing and stuff.

Nothing Better than a Liberry.

I know that there's lots of resources, nowadays, what with the Internet and all, but it is still baffling to me that there are people who do not use libraries. Are you people on crack? Let me educate you on why the library is Heaven on Earth.

If it's like my library system, it has all kinds of goodies online.

1. If I want to read a book, I can go online, look it up, and put it on hold. I can pick the library in the county I want it delivered to, and I will get an email notifying me when it arrives. How cool is that?

2. I have exhausted a lot of my favorite authors' published titles (especially the ones that are dead), so I am constantly looking for new good reads. In my library system, you can subscribe to an RSS feed that gives you updates on books in categories you have interest in. I just discovered this feature, and given my new found love of RSS feeds, now that I've figured out how to use them, this is very exciting.

3. You can find books by looking at lists of various award recipients for leads.

4. If I had homework I could get help from reputable sources. Like for instance you could use a database instead of Wikipedia for a source when writing a resource paper. Just a thought.

5. They have free programs, including some fun little story times if you have kids. I like free stuff.

6. I could join a book club. Not that I will, but it's nice to know that I could.

7. They have free meeting rooms, which I have used for work. Very handy.

8. I'm poor, and I can check out books, or books on CD to entertain me when I am driving to meetings for work, and it is all free, unless I forget to turn something in on time. I'm all for free entertainment.

Besides the fabulous free resources that I have just listed at my local library, the REAL reason I like the library is because it makes me smart, or at the very least keeps my brain from turning to complete mush. Also, reading books can broaden your perspective, and some books I might not buy, but have checked out form the library and read and quite enjoyed.

For instance, I grew to consider the aftermath of slavery in the U.S. differently when I read about it from a child's point of view in Elijah of Buxton. In Junior High school, I grew to view the Holocaust from a more personal angle after reading The Diary of Ann Frank. And recently, my perspective on the Japanese internment camps in the U.S. during World War II through my reading of The Magic of Ordinary Days. I'm not saying that my opinion was changed by the reading of these books, because I've always thought that the treatment of the group of people in each of those three groups at those times was deplorable, but it personalized it, and made me view the pieces of history as having impacted specific people, instead of just a mass I could consider at a distance.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that if you don't have a library card, and use it, I'm not certain we can be friends anymore.

Books for Your Must Read List

There are certain books that shaped me into the fine upstanding woman I am today. If you are in a quandry what to read next, here's a list of books to help you on your way to being just as fine and upstanding.

1. Little House on the Prairie, By Laura Ingalls Wilder. The true story of a young girl and her adventures as she and her family moved across the prairie to discover new frontiers and settle in new surroundings. I personally enjoyed the later books when "Manly" came courting. Nothing makes a girl swoon more than a man willing to ride through a blizzard with horses with no auto defrost on their nostrils just to see you.

2. The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis. A witty look at the weaknesses of man as seen through the eyes of the demon correspondants, Screwtape and Wormwood, as they work to draw man down a slippery slope to hell. What could be more fun?

3. The Princess Diaries, by Meg Cabot. An awkward teenager discovers she is a princess, and struggles with this new duty, as well as other growing pains connected with making it through high school. Not written for 10 year old girls, contrary to the belief of many a parent who likes the Disney movie. More a middle/high school kid demographic, which makes it perfect for me. I still need to get my hands on the 10th and final book in the series. Will she realize who her One True Love is? And what college will she go to? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

4. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. My favorite novel since I read it the first time when I was 14. Mr. Darcy is mine, and the rest of you who say you are going to marry him can just back off.

5. Anne of Green Gables, by Lucy Maude Montgomery. If you have to pick between reading the books and watching the movies, pick the books. Anne taught me about kindred spirits, and how reading the epitaphs in graveyards can be lots of fun. Good meaty stuff.

6. Slugs, by David Greenberg. When I did a search on Amazon for Slugs, it came back with "did you mean: plugs? Oh, yes. Silly me. I knew that Amazon would be able to find the word that was eluding me. Thank heavens for their smart, smart search engine. Otherwise I would have an incomplete ear jewelry collection.

7. Princess Bride, by S. Morgenstern. The Pit of Despair is ten times more interesting in the book than what they had time for in the movie. I do have to warn you though, there's kissing not in The Pit, silly!).

8. The Three Musketeers, by Alexandre Dumas. I found this book hysterical in high school. I can't tell you why because I haven't read it since, but I have determined to read it again soon to remember. Just trust me that it was funny, and it has made me the woman I am today. I feel like I should be a sword wielding horse rider.... Or at least have a fleur de lys on my back. Except that would mean I am a murderess. I think that's bad.

9. Ramona the Pest, by Beverly Cleary. I will never crack an egg on my head, even if I believe it is boiled. I will always call girls with really curly hair Susie with the Boing Boing curls, even if it is just mentally. I will never call a girl with acne pizza face. These are just a few of the life lessons in the Ramona books.

10. A Room with a View, by E.M. Forster. What's more comic than three men streaking through the forest as the ladies wander by in 1900 England? Some day I want to go to Italy and have a room with a view.

What I Did On My Thanksgiving Vacation: Day 1

Today only really half counts as a vacation day, because I did go into work this morning. But I got to leave early this afternoon, and have already felt the joy that vacation brings.

So far, I have taken myself out to lunch at a local Thai restaurant, because I have recently discovered that I heart curry. I took a book with me and ate all alone. It's actually quite liberating to eat in a restaurant alone. You should try it. I would have eaten lunch with a friend, but everyone is either too far away, or they didn't answer their phones. Shame on you all!

Next, I came home, fully intending to spend a quiet afternoon listening to soothing chick music I downloaded on my computer, while reading the very interesting book, "Why Gender Matters," by Leonard Sax. It has fascinating information on the differences between the ways boys and girls think and feel with scientific data to back it up, PLUS it makes me look like a smart person because it's non-fiction, and smart people read non-fiction books. (And no, you can't put "so why does gender matter?" in my comment section. K's got that question covered. She asks me at least once a week... it's taken me a while to get around to reading it).

I got distracted from the smart people book and chick music, though. I was not even intending to log onto the internet, but pretty much if I log onto my computer it logs on to the internet, so I was technically online already, and then I decided to maintain the status of Favorite Aunt (even kids not related by blood want to be my neices and nephews, I'm that cool), and I got online and found an e-card to send to Jumping Bean. He especially needed a card because after quite a long streak of thoroughly not enjoying school, he is beginning to show amazing improvement and even enthusiasm for school. Totally calls for a hoops&yoyo card. Of course it took about an hour for me to choose said hoops&yoyo card.

So now here I sit, in my comfy beanbag, listening to my chick music, and blogging. Which means that I am not reading my smart people book. But I'm on vacation so I'm totally on task. My task, of course, being to relax and not worry about things.

I was talking to Jenna last night, and we were talking about vacation philosophies. Jenna feels that there are two basic philosphies about vacations, with different shades of those philosophies along the vacation philosphy spectrum. On one end are the people who believe that vacation is for relaxing, which means doing whatever you darn well please, even if that involves sleeping in until noon in your hotel in an exciting city. On the other end are the people that believe that when you are on vacation, you have to be DOING something ever minute in order to fully savor the vacation, which means time in the hotel room is a waste of time. I think I fall somewhere in the middle. I am totally okay with the fact that I have not accomplished anything substantial this afternoon, like vacuuming out my yucky car, or cleaning my floor where my purse puked on it, or balancing my checkbook. I do have those tasks on my list of things to complete during my vacation time, because I do enjoy feeling all organized. But I also enjoy ignoring all my duties. Because this bean bag is comfy. And I'm more relaxed than I've been in months.

The other thing I COULD have been doing if not for stupid WB is watching the 6th Harry Potter Movie. Because apparently it was originally scheduled to be released today, but they pushed it back till next summer because it made more sense financially. Lame. So instead of watching the movie, you should watch this. Because we all need to keep a little Harry in our life.



Not over here, not over there...

Read Good.

The other day I overheard one mother of a high school student telling another mother that her child's teacher should not assign such boring books, or the kids will learn to hate reading.

I would like to argue that teachers should make kids read all kinds of stuff, including the boring stuff. Especially the boring stuff. Why? Because your boring stuff is not my boring stuff. Because they might actually learn something. Because our kids should grow up to be smart.

I have a friend who LOVES Dante's Inferno. I personally struggled through Dante's Inferno. This friend can quote from it, name characters, and tell what each circle of hell is in the book.

When I was in the ninth grade, we read Romeo and Juliet. It was slow reading, because Shakespeare's writing is not something your typically breeze through when you're fourteen. I still struggle with Shakespeare a bit, but I'm glad I've read a few of his works all the way through. I remember that my favorite English teacher in the world, Mr. Vinson, had us write a paper about Romeo and Juliet. I wrote that I thought it was the most ridiculous story, and that I had no respect for either of them for killing themselves over someone they had just met. Suicide, I wrote, is never the answer. I did not find it romantic at all. I swore I never would. I believe I got a good grade on my paper. I remember Mr. Vinson looking at me with a glint of amusement and something else in his eye. I think he enjoyed my indignation, and the fact that it came from knowing that piece of literature well enough to judge it. Now I get the romantic part of Romeo and Juliet. That feeling that if the person that you love is no longer in the world, you would rather die than experience the excruciating pain that consumes you. The point wasn't that they commit suicide for each other, I don't think. The suicide was representative of the immense tragedy they felt in their hearts over the loss of one another. The part where they are somewhere around 14 and have known each other for a few weeks I still find silly, although since hormone's are raging and passion is infused into all parts of life, it is a more believable ending when you consider their developmental stage. But the connectedness part I find sweet. If I had not read it then, I could not appreciate it now.

I was also made to read The Pearl by John Steinbeck, as well as Of Mice and Men. I found Steinbeck's style grating at times; he would take a page to describe the road that George and Lennie were plodding along. Now I appreciate that I was made to read those two stories. I never would have chosen those books on my own. I have no desire to read The Pearl again. I don't think I had a desire to read Of Mice and Men again when I first read it, although it was not as tortursome as The Pearl. But as an adult, I may find new meaning in those same lines.

I was given the assignment to read many different pieces of literature throughout my public and college education. There are some authors I can't stand, some books that I saw no point in and some books and authors that I love as a result of those assignements.

The youth of America need to grow up to be able to make intelligent comments about the great writers. Even if all they have to say is why they don't like a particular author and which books he wrote that they hate, they will have benefitted. They are using their critical thinking skills. They are examining other viewpoints and shaping their own world views. They are learning about human behavior, even if they learn about it by identifying that a portrayal of a character is unconvincing, and discovering what human features were lacking to make it convincing. They are learning about the morals portrayed in the writings, and judging what their own moral compass will be. They are learning new words, and seeing how beautiful the english language can be. Above all, through studying how great men and women writers express themselves, they can learn how better to express themselves. Possibly they will absorb other words into their vocabularies, instead of just using their time in school to learn how to use the "f" word as a noun, verb, adjective, and pronoun. Also they may learn to read good.

Big People Have Little Humor and Little People Have No Humor at All.

I have a large lump behind my ear. Really it's humungous. Ginormous. Okay, it's the size of a skittle. I tried to convince K on Sunday that it was a cancerous growth on Sunday, and that I was in fact dying. To which she responded "did you know there are little people in the wall who talk to you?" Um, yes, I did. Where has she been?

KP (now KJ- the pretty, pretty bride) assured me it was really most likely a swollen gland. Who knew you had a gland there. It's not in the fleshy part, it's on my skull. Which I feel indicates that it is Something Serious. Even though KJ is a nurse.

Note: the first one to say hypochondriac loses a finger. Or I will put a lump on your head behind YOUR ear.

When the View from the Room is Bad

I am giving you fair warning: if you have not seen the new Room with a View, and you want to experience it with no preconceptions, all sparkly and new, you might not want to read this post. If you think you already know because you have read the book, you still might not want to read this post if you want to see the movie with fresh eyes.

I have a special place in my heart for A Room With a View. I find it witty, and I find it insightful. I also notice something new every time I read it. So I was excited when a new version of it came out, and Masterpiece Theatre featured it. Unfortunately, whoever wrote this screenplay was on crack. One of the sad side effects of all that crack was that they decided that the ending that Forster cooked up just wasn't quite good enough. It's not like the book was a classic or anything, so what does he know, right?

So at the end it couldn't just end like the book: back in the room with a view in the city in Italy. They advanced BEYOND that scene (which they played like a harlequin romance scene), to a scene where she was in Italy, with the same carriage driver who got in trouble for making out with his girlfriend while he drove them to the picnic (who now magically speaks English perfectly due to driving all those tourists--apparently he stopped making out with girls and started listening). The driver and our heroine drive out to the countryside and have a picnic together, because that's what you do when your husband has died in the war. You picnic with the strange Italian who happened to drive the carriage you once rode in with your husband in an awkward pre-courtship period of time. And as they picnic in this totally natural, uncontrived scene, the driver confesses that he led her to her future husband in the field where they had their fateful first kiss on purpose. Because of course the local peasant was the all knowing puppet master. I'm so glad the screenplay writer got the REAL point of the book.

Did I mention her husband died? WHY must they take a classic that ended happily and make the ending UNhappy? I do not understand this compulsion certain people have to equate tragedy with romance. Mostly they are wrong. Mostly tragedy just sucks. So why take a perfectly good love story, with an ending where the guy gets the girl, and kill off the guy?

My Dream Home: Volume II

So we've covered the hot tub, the nice big tub, and the towel boy. In this edition of My Dream Home, I would like to address another important item every home should have. Books.

I'm pro-book. I think that every home should have at least one. Hopefully you have more than one. I visited a house once during my internship out on the peninsula with this amazing view of the harbor. Sitting in their kitchen, as you looked towards the water, you saw on the wall shelves of books that pretty much covered the wall. They were the kind of shelves that were built in. They extended from one end of the wall to the other above the windows, and I believe the rest of the wall that was not window was pretty much covered in books. I want a kitchen like that. I want a beautiful view and a wall of books. I want lots and lots of cook books so I can cook yummy foods.

Along with the kitchen shelves, I want a library. I want to have a room where the walls are covered in books, like in those movies where there's a library with cozy arm chairs and a ladder that you can scoot around the room because the bookshelves go so high you need a ladder to reach the higher shelves. My library needs to have a fireplace, and windows to let in lots of natural light. The window should also have a good view.

I think that might basically mean that my perfect house doesn't have neighbors. Unless the neighbor is a cute cottage down the way, and they happen to like to bring me baked goods every so often just to be neighborly. Yes, definitely that kind of neighbor could work.

Have I mentioned I've been craving pie?

Dolores Umbridge Sighting

I have met a woman who looks exactly like Dolores Umbridge. For those of you who are Harry Potter challenged, she's the evil teacher/government official in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. This woman I met has the same facial expressions one would expect from Dolores. She thinks very highly of her own opinions and bestows them upon others as though we should to. The only thing she is missing is she doesn't do the little throat clearing thing she does in the book. Also she doesn't have a pink bow in her hair. That I've seen yet.