Honest and Rude are Not the Same Thing

Hey Fellas. Here's something that is not hot. Being rude, and pretending like you're just being honest, and were duty-bound to spew forth your toxicness.

Here is my response: No. No you are not duty-bound to be rude.

To say to your loved one, who is expressing concern for your well-being "shut up and back off" might just acheive exactly that. Said loved one might shut up. Might back off. You may not hear from them in any meaningful way again, because your hostility indicates that their opinion is not valued.

Here's an alternative. Say "that's an interesting way to look at it. Here's how I see it. These are the facts I base my opinion on. I guess you and I just see things differently. That's why I choose the path I am choosing. Thanks for taking the time to worry." Or, even "respectfully, I choose not to follow your advice." Or, "thanks for thinking of me!" But definitely NOT "SHUT UP AND BACK OFF."

Taking the energy you have to aim acid words and angry attitudes towards those who love you is silly. You're kind of missing out on all the perks of the relationship. Also, you're no fun to be around. And it's not hot.

On the other hand, it does make me happy to be single.

The Yippiest Accessory You Could Buy

Seriously. What is this?
Okay, it's an incredibly cute puppy dog. A toy dog, I hear those crazy kids are calling them. And I want this one. But not for reals because I fear I would accidently forget to feed it or something.

But what is this?

When did this become fashionable? I mean,I know a certain girl famous for being rich does this, but seriously? I thought we mocked her? When did we start emulating her, girls? I'm noticing this alarming trend. Going to the nearby shopping center with lots of outdoor space this summer, I noticed that quite a few little teenage girls and twenty-somethings were carrying around their own little yippie dog, or leashing it around. Because shopping cannot be done without it. Kind of like the right pair of earrings.

And then today I was at the pet store with a friend. Which, by the way, is a total misrepresentation. Why are there so few pets at the pet store? Remember when they used to have kitties and puppies you could look at? They totally don't now. Just fish and cheepy birds and a few paranoid guinea pigs. Oh, and some lizards. So at least there's that. But that's not my point. My point, it turns out, is I was this close to running out and getting my own personal little accessory, just so I could get this:

Jack Sparrow, you have never been so handsome. Found at petsmart.com.
Bzzzzz. Bzzzzzuy this at amazon.

Pheeeew have looked so cute for halloween. Also at Amazon.

See my dilemma? Even though I reeeeeally don't like dressing up myself, I could dress up a puppy!

Top Five Reasons I Heart TV

Here are five reasons why, when people tell me, all smug-like, that they don't watch TV, like they should get an award, or angel wings or something, I weep inwardly.

Castle. Seriously. Witty, charming man meets snarky, tough, beautiful lady cop. It's like it's about me but, you know, as a cop. And without the charming man... And.... Okay, but it's seriously good. It's partially about the mystery, but also very much about the characters. I mean, Witty Charming Man has an adorable teenage daughter who is normal, not painfully angsty and overdone, and they do things like have laser gun fights in their living room.

Fringe. If you like Sci Fi, I mean like good Sci Fi, not cheesey, gonna get cancelled after two seasons Sci Fi, this is totally your dream show. It has mystery. It has suspense. It has wierdness. It has grossness. And it has a hot guy here and there. And a cow. Also a crazy scientist who totally makes the show. I tell you, it's hilarious and freaky all at the same time.

Glee. It's snarky. It's awkward. It's like a musical that just doesn't end. I heart it. Especially the awkward single teacher with the impossible crush. Who totally sings in the car. The only objection I have so far is, I'm sorry, what high school are your kids going to where they can sing "I wanna sex you up." With your teacher. on a stage. With parents and the principal looking along and grinning like fools. Um, no. If it could happen, that school needs to be shut down. But then, this school is not meant to be just like yours. It's cartoonier and full of musical numbers.

Law and Order: SVU. You gotta give me points for waiting till number 4 to bring this up. It's got Mariska. It's got Christopher. There is drama. There is justice. There is the doink, doink. Also, we learn about Important Social Issues.

Grey's Anatomy. Four words. Candle floor plan. Wait, that's three words. If you don't know what I'm talking about, well, I'm sorry your life is so empty and meaningless. Also, the ELEVATOR SCENE. You know, That One. Siiigh. I've loved Patrick ever since Can't Buy Me Love with the poofy hair. He still has not let me down. (and Yes, there's the small matter of the wildly unrealistic medical problems and happenings--see The Bomb-- but I can suspend reality. I only excuse KJ from watching for that reason because of her medicaliness. The rest of you should be watching.)

A Day in the Life of Holliberry

I feel like I'm failing somewhere here.

This was the conversation last night in my apartment.

K: Ooh, who's this?
Holliberry: Huh?
K: Oh, this guy just friended me. He's kinda cute.
Holliberry: You don't know him?
K: No. Ew, he's kinda old. Graduated in '81. I was... three. Nasty.
Holliberry: Hm. Hey, you should read my blog. I really feel strongly about this one and I think it's so long that no one read it. (Insert your name here) made a comment the other day that confirmed she hadn't. (because, let's face it, none of my guy friends read this blog--not that I'm bitter)
K: Ewwwww. He's a body builder.
Holliberry: Are you still looking at him?
K: Yeah, I accepted his friend request.
Holliberry: Oooookay.
K: Ugh. He posted (something about how he loves his car). Dork
Holliberry: So maybe instead of cyber stalking you should read my blog.
K: He's friends with so-and-so.
Holliberry: I tell you, I was witty and smart and stuff.
K: Mmm.
Holliberry: Also I really want you to read it. I think you would enjoy it.
K: (mutters)Freakin' nasty... (clicks on more pictures of Old Guy).

I don't know if I've mentioned this to y'all, but I really enjoy writing, and I take pleasure in it. Also, if you want me to admire your paper mache ducks you make as a hobby, I would. I would even put it on my desk at work with pride. Because that's what friends are for.

Not reading my blog is like the equivalent of not being excited about owning a piece of my pottery when I offer it to you. Except that while I may never give you a piece of pottery again if you look pained when I offer you one, I still will fully expect you to read my blog. Because if you have time to cyberstalk or do online gaming for three hours a day, you have time to read my deep thoughts. And don't think there won't be a pop quiz.

**In K's defense, she OCCASSIONALLY checks my blog without prompting. But I choose to be petty and whiney to illustrate a point.

Catchin' the Crazy Cooties

So, ever since the criminally insane man escaped at the fair, I've been holding something in. Crazy, I know, since I'm usually the source of many a socially awkward moment filled with inappropriately blunt comments. Or at least that is what I strive for.

I have heard far too many people say that it's outragous that mentally ill people were let loose at the fair. Um, let me reiterate. And I quote: "patients discharged from psychiatric facilities who did not abuse alcohol and illegal drugs had a rate of violence no different than that of their neighbors in the community."

All I'm saying's that the term mentally ill is not interchangeable with the word dangerous. Most mentally ill people are not dangerous. And you interact with mentally ill people all the time. They don't all hear voices.

But seriously, who takes criminally insane killers to the fair?

You Know Who Looks Goofiest?

I've been ruminating lately on your typical American adult's reaction to mental illness. There is a lady who is often seen standing outside of my office. She's generally fairly clean, although her hair sometimes looks a little wild and her clothes are often mismatched. As she stands at the curb, she has loud arguments. With thin air. To your average passer-by (or bus patron, because there's a bus stop), she's a little intimidating. She's very accusatory in her arguments, and if you are in her eye line you question at first if she is angry at you for some fictional act that she is convinced you carried out. This can be a little scary, because she can sometimes be verbally aggressive and gesture wildly. But I've never seen her invade anyone's personal space, and her intent is not to harm anyone. I'm not sure who she is arguing with, or if they are really an actual person somewhere in the world. But having gotten to "know" her by seeing her every day, I see that she has some mental issues, possibly triggered by some horrible damage done to her earlier in her life, or possibly just brought on by lack of medical treatment and support.

Today as I was going about my work, I passed by her several times as she ranted on the sidewalk. She usually will spend a little time doing this, and then move on. There was a group of three women who appeared to be tourists, or at least women who had broken their normal routine and come into a part of the city they did not often traverse. The first time I passed by, two were doing their best to ignore her, but the third looked rather alarmed, as though she thought the woman was angry at her. The second time I passed by, she seemed to have figured out that the woman was in fact angry at an invisible adversary. The third time I passed by, she had the giggles. Look at that funny crazy lady. She has obviously lost her mind.

I know that mentally ill people can be scary, especially since their illness doesn't manifest itself like many physical illnesses and disabilities manifest themselves, and you're generally not able to ascertain what ails them or how it will impact their behavior. You've seen on TV and in movies how the moods of crazy people can turn on a dime, and suddenly they are having a psychotic break and trying to kill you, and it can be easy to imagine the worst will happen.

In reality, the majority of mentally ill people are not violent. I think that it is our responsibility as adults living in a complex society to try to understand mental illness. Chances are, you know at least one person with a mental illness, whether you think you do or not. Some have been diagnosed, some have not. Chances are that if six people are reading this blog (which would be terribly exciting), at least one has been diagnosed with a mental illness at one point or another in their life, whether it is an issue today or has been treated. To stay in the dark about what it means to be mentally ill is a risky thing to do. At some point in your life, someone you love and care about, to some degree or another, will need your understanding. I recommend the website found at the above link for online information. I'm sure there's probably some other ones out there, but this is the most extensive and informative site I have found.

What makes me just a little sick inside is seeing people who have not just discomfort written all over their face when they are near mentally ill people, but disgust. The look seems to communicate that they think the person should have kept a better grip on their sanity. Or it could also be interpreted to mean that they think they are going to catch the person's crazy. Generally this is not case, unless you count things like untreated Syphilis, which leads to insanity if untreated. To me, that look of disdain and distaste is not only disappointing, but offensive. Also prideful. Who are you to think you are so whole and perfect that you can't empathise with the outward manifestations of the confusion and pain? I'm not saying the empathy and understanding come naturally, because I don't think they do; not with most people, myself included. But those traits are something we should develop as we grow into responsible adults and contributing members of society. So go ahead, giggle if you feel uncomfortable. It's a natural result for some people, myself included. But then maybe go home and read a book about mental illness, or take a class, or subscribe to a reliable blog.

The Stereotypes About Seattle and Why They Are Dumb.

There seems to be this toxic attitude permeating the minds of Seattle Drivers. I hear people say, with a little smile like they are talking about how cute their toddler is who cut their own hair, that Seattle has some of the worst rubber-neckers in the nation. Really? Really Seattle? THIS is what we want to be known for?

The rain thing, I get. Although seriously, implanted Seattlites, ya knew it was like this when you moved here. Also you exaggerate. Alabama gets more rain. Also Miami. And you never say to people you meet from Miami, "gosh, how can you stand living there! I would be so depressed!" And YET, Miami is in the top 10 and Seattle is not in the top 24. Olympia is the first city in the Northwest to even make the list. So, seriously, ask me about something else. Ask me about the coffee shops, which really are everywhere. Ask me about the fact that we have the Sound and rivers and lakes and mountains and hills and really close to us at all times here. Whine to me about the weather, and, I'm just warning you right now, you may find that umbrella you're holding jammed up your nose. I would use my own umbrella but I"m not sure where it is right now.

Any other stereotypes I can express my rage at/debunk?

You Know How I'm Really Great? Compliment Me. Now.

You know how people take those silly "what color is my aura," and "how great am I for being born on this date" quizzes? I've decided that really, those quizzes have only one purpose. Read the results of one of my MyFace friends (who never actually acknowledges me, but we're bffl's in her heart, I'm sure):

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing
personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
and loyal.... Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when
restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry
really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making
friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams
and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not
outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show
emotions.

And then along with the summary, they post something like, "gosh, I wouldn't say that I was HUMBLE. What do you think guys?" And THEN, all the happy glowy friends post thing like, "Girl, you are the most humble, sexy, honest, and loyal girl I know! I wouldn't say you get angry tho! UR so sweet!". And the love fest goes on. And then someone like me posts something like, "yeah, you are pretty ludicrous." Because I am THAT MyFace friend. And THEN it gets really quiet, during which time all the previous posters are most likely sending secret messages saying, "that Holliberry girl is so harsh, you are not ludicrous, and by the way have you seen my sense of humor anywhere around your place? Haven't seen it in years."

I'm off to take some aura quizzes. Feel free to make some preemptive glowy comments here.

Happy Baby Safety Month!

In honor of Baby Safety Month, I would like you all to take a moment out of your busy lives to watch this important informational video.*

*Keep in mind irony here, folks.



P.S. I heart babies. Shaking is bad. That's my message. Call me if you need a sitter. :D

NINE!

Happy 09/09/09!

Literacy is Hot

In my continuing quest to celebrate all the special holidays in the month of September, I would like to honor Read a New Book Month today. Because September is Read a New Book month. But you knew that, so I'm just being patronizing here. In honor of this month-o-literacy, I will highlight a few of my favorite books I've read in the last year.

First, there is The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins.

This book reminded me slightly of The Lottery. You know, that short story we had to read in high school that I will never, ever forget. If you've read The Lottery you will know what I mean. It's a fantasy book, based on a post-apocalyptic type world where the US is split up into "districts," where the survivors reside, and there is a capitol city where the ruling class lives. Each year, for the entertainment of the elite and to keep all the district people from rebelling, their children are entered into a lottery, and two from each district participate in a reality show of competition called the Hunger Games. Super good. I felt like the world Suzanne Collins constructed was complete and fascinating. Can't wait to read the next book in the series. I believe it's a trilogy, and book number two is out, waiting for me on a bookshelf somewhere and calling my name.

Next on my list is A Great and Terrible Beauty, by Libba Bray. I swear I don't read that much fantasy, but this is also a fantasy book. A fantastic fantasy book.

The main character, Gemma Doyle, lost her mother at a young age, and then was shipped off to a boarding school for girls. There, she begins to discover these magical powers she seems to possess. She also makes some good friends, and they have adventures, discovering a whole world together. Like Hunger Games, I was fascinated with the way the author constructed a complete world, incorporating the world we know with her own magical world. It was also a good girl power kind of book, with strong female teenage characters, and strong friendships. And it's a trilogy, which means the fun is multiplied by three! The only bummer was that by the end of the book I was hooked on this author, and I discovered that she has not written that much, and the other books she has written don't seem to fall in the same category as this trilogy.

Next in my literary line-up is The Missing Piece Meets the Big O, by Shel Silverstein.

There is much symbolism to be found here. I read this book to my teenagers at the leadership retreat we just had, and I felt like it was a really good message for them, as teenagers on the cusp of adulthood, and for me, as an adult on the cusp of... adulthood. Parallels can be drawn to relationships--both friendships and romantic relationships--quite easily. But I also have drawn parallels to other parts of my life. The, "if I meet this career goal I will be happy," part of me. And the "if I move (insert geographical location to escape to here) I will be happy," phenomenon I have been observing in young adults I know.

The last book I would like to recommend is At Home in Mitford, by Jan Karon. This is a nice laid back book with happy thoughts and sunshine infused into the pages.

Pastor Tim serves a small flock in a small town. We keep him company as he goes about serving his flock, and the thoughts he has. If you like a thoughtful scripture reference thrown into your reading here and there, this is the book for you. I really like the way he will ponder how to help people struggling in the story, and to be the best person he can throughout the series. It inspired me to examine my own thought process and try to intentionally visit and revisit in my mind how I can be the best friend and sister and aunt and daughter I can be. And sometimes I even do nice stuff . Look at me, all growing and stuff.

Hey, Honey ;)

It's Honey Month. I'm pretty sure that the aim of that celebration is that you should call everyone by Honey as your term of endearment for the month. Here's a few scenarios:

Boss: I need your time sheet by five
You: Sure, honey, I'll get right on that.

Drive Thru Attendant: Would you like that Quadruple sized or do you just want the fat delivered intravenously, honey?
You: Hmm... We're going to have to think about that, honey. Check back with us in a minute.

Room mate: For crying out loud, would you please stop calling me honey?
You: Sorry, honey.
Room mate: No, really, it's freaking annoying.
You: Aw, honey, don't be a cranky pants!
Room mate: I'm going in my room.
You (through door): Honey, let's talk about this.
Room mate: $!@#%"$!@#%##@!

That last one is probably an accurate prediction of what will happen with me and K this month. I'll test her endurance and get back to you.

Remember the First Day of School?

Because I don't. I have no recollection of how I felt about going to Kindergarten. I'm guessing I was probably excited, because I had gone with my mom to the school barbecue since my sisters were already in school. I do remember that I had the best Kindergarten teacher in the world, and that we had show-and-tell, and snack time, and bunnies. And we had painting easels. And cute little workbooks where we learned about letters and stuff. My most vivid memories involve sneaking the popcorn from snacktime of the floor and eating it when I thought no one was looking, since we ate snack sitting in a circle on the rug. I'm sure I was totally super sly. At least I wasn't that girl that picked her nose and ate her boogers. That was my neighbor. Not to name any names.

I Heart You, Seattle

Don't ever change, Seattle. Then I will always have something to post on my blog.

Workin' 9 to 5:30ish...

I should mention that I am now employed again. So now I'm going to have to make my life about something other than my unemployment. What to do, what to do....

I'm working in downtown Seattle, at a non-profit I don't want to disclose, in case I have Internet stalkers or something, so please don't out me in my comments sections, and run-on sentences are fun. But being that I'm now a city girl, or at least a one who is employed by an organization located in the city, I'm realizing that I will have lots of good fodder for blogging, or just conversational pieces. Not the confidential stuff, of course, because I would like not to get fired. Also because breaking confidences are not cool. But the other stuff. Like the naked man.

So I'm sitting in my office last week, and all of the sudden I hear the woman at the front desk say "there is a naked man out there," with kind of the same inflection one might use to say "those are some ugly pants he's wearing." Except he wasn't wearing pants. Or anything else. Not even socks. So she said the former, not the latter. The bike cops were already talking to him and trying to convince him to put some clothes on, once they located some. Apparently he wasn't very responsive. This might have been a good thing, since one of the responding officers was telling us that naked people can actually be some of the most dangerous and aggressive--the nakedness being an outward manifestation of some serious crazy. I always thought of streakers as peace loving hippies. Not so, apparently. At least not in Seattle. Maybe in Berkley or something. Anyways, of course when you hear something like that you can't stay in your office, even if you don't really want to be scarred with the vision of nakedness. So I started to come out front, and the staff said, "oh, no, you don't want to see this," as she picked up the phone and paged another staff by saying "(Staff name), please come to the front, you've got to see this." Apparently I must exude Mormon-ness because she knew right away that my virgin eyes could not handle the sight of Naked Man. Pretty quickly a cruiser appeared with a real policeman (something about the bike and the neon yellow coat tells me that the bike police pretty much have the authority to direct traffic). Then a fire truck showed up, and I believe a medic. I've been told that the fire station is called to medical scenes because they have trained medics or something and can usually get there first, being based in stations out in the community. Or I could be making that up. But that's what I think I was told once. Anyways, so at some point he sat down on the sidewalk, and eventually one of the officers coaxed him into putting on some pants or something. I was trying not to do the whole standing around gawking thing, because I was supposed to be working or something. As opposed to all the hecklers I hear were across the street yelling things at Naked Man throughout the spectacle.

This didn't happen at my old job.