What the Future Holds

I read my horoscope today, and it was totally lame. It said something about making decisions thoughtfully or something. So, since my horoscope was no help, I'm going to consult the online magic eight ball.

Question: Should I hang my little shelves on the wall behind my couch?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Are you sure? Because I also think they would go well in my bed room.

Answer: Definitely.

Question: Wait, so definitely I should hang them over the couch?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Wow! Are you always this consistent?

Answer: Maybe.

Question: Okay. Now that I have the shelves situated, tell me, do I have a cold? My head hurts.

Answer: My sources say no.

Question: Really? Because I'm about to rip my sinuses out of my head. Also my ear canals. You really don't think I have a cold?

Answer: My sources say no.

Question: Wow, your sources are kind of wacky. Can I take some cold meds anyways, before I am tempted to knock myself unconscious?

Answer: My sources say no.

Question: Um, do you know what you can do with your sources?

Answer: No way!

Question: Seriously? I have to explain it?

Answer: Absolutely!

Question: Can I do it after I go take my cold meds?

Answer: Ask again later.

Question: That's a little passive-aggressive, don't you think?

Answer: My sources say no.

Question: Again with the sources???

Answer: No way!

Question: Okay, whatever. I have a cold. Should I go to work tomorrow?

Answer: No way!

Welp. That's decided then.