When I Grow Up...

I want to be a foodie. I don't think I qualify as one right now, because I feel like a foodie should know things, like that there are different kinds of scallops. There are sea scallops and bay scallops? Who knew? But I do really love food. I love trying different kinds of food, and there are very few things I won't at least try. Like tonight, I was watching the Top Chef from this season where they did Dim Sum, and I would not even be opposed to trying the chicken feet. Although, it sounds like she botched them, and I'd rather try some that are properly cooked to get the full effect. But, still. I like to try different things. I also love finding good restaurants.

I consulted the source of all knowledge, Wikipedia, and it was confirmed. Foodies are food (and wine--but that parts never gonna happen) aficionados. I clearly don't know enough about food to be called a foodie. Wikipedia told me so. But I aspire to know more.

Also, when I grow up, I wanna be famous.

Perspective

One of my friends scared the crap out of me the other day. She had a medical scare that was life-threatening. For too many terrifying hours things were uncertain. I have never felt that level of awful fear for someone close to me. I've had grandparents and aunts and uncles die, but those deaths were for the most part not startling, and it at least felt like they had lived a life. Also, generally the assurance that I will see them again and that they are with God has been a comfort to me. But this friend is my age. I have only had her for a few years in my life. That is not long enough. And really, there is no one in my life right now that I am willing to part with. I'm selfish that way. Thankfully, she is okay. Fervent prayer was uttered by many who loved her, and I believe that God blessed her.

It's been a rough couple years for me. Lots and lots of change in my life. New job, new grown-up apartment with no roommate, new friends, new ward, and severed ties with a few old beloved friends. In some ways I have rejoiced in the changes and how they have helped me to grow and expand as a person. I've learned so much and love the people and experiences that these changes have brought me. But lately I have been struggling with the challenges these changes have also brought my way. Growing is exhausting. Trying to do better and be stronger is exhausting. I feel like I'm on the right track, but, my goodness, I'm tired. And also sad, because I've lost a few friends with these changes. But this week helped me gain some perspective on things.

Those things I've been stressing about? Kind of silly. My job is hard but I'm moving in the right direction and my boss is happy with me. My friends get frustrated with me but they love me anyways even with all my crazy. If I haven't driven them away with my crazy yet that's a pretty darn good sign. And even the ones who are not speaking to me anymore are still alive. I'd rather have them somewhere out there annoyed with me than not out there.

I'm Sure This Will Surprise You...

but the truth is, I hate Valentine's Day. Shocking, right? And, no, it's not because it's a holiday created by stores who want our money, blah, blah, blah.... I feel convinced that the people who say this (and I swear they are all people who have Somebody) are only saying this because they are cheap. There, I've said it. And now my trip to Alice and the Hatter's house has probably been canceled due to Too Much Making Fun. I kid, I swear. Please don't withhold the baby.

I believe that there should be as many reasons for people to buy me things as possible. I'm not opposed to commercialism if it benefits me personally. I'm still wondering why you didn't buy me a New Year's present, by the way. It was kind of thoughtless of you. I'm just saying. So, no, that's not the reason I hate Valentine's Day.

It's not even the disgusting displays of affection on MyFace. Although, seriously, I don't care how much you love your Baby, or how much your Baby loves you, or what your Baby gave you, or where you went with your Baby. Not on February 14th, or any other day of the year. All that happiness makes me want to puke. Just so you know. Was that too honest? Sometimes I get to honest. Some of you may recall the incident with the yarn.

What I hate is that everyone asks you what you are doing for Valentine's Day. And then after Valentine's Day, they ask you what you did. And they all swap stories and compare what their sweethearts did or said or whatever. And talk about how romantic and thoughtful they are or aren't the rest of the year. And if you're REALLY lucky, they ask you why you're single. And pat you on the shoulder and tell you that you will find someone. And suggest that you join an internet dating site. Because maybe if you Put Yourself Out There you will find Someone. Gosh, I never thought of that. Sounds fun, no?

If you had just sent me some chocolate and flowers, we could have avoided this tirade.

Other Things I Love

In addition to gnomes, I've developed a sudden fixation on unicorns. They make me happy. I feel like I should own one. Since there are no actual unicorns for sale in my geographical area, I have been scouting the web. Turns out that while unicorns strike my fancy in theory, there are a lot of ugly, creepy unicorns out there. I'm telling you. Go to Amazon or Etsy, and you will see what i mean. I do enjoy the print on etsy I found that says "Shut it or I'll stab you with my norwhal." I'm seriously contemplating getting this one for my home.I feel like this would add the little morsel of homeyness that I haven't quite capture yet in my apartment. This print could be the clincher. And don't steal my idea. I don't want to walk into your house and find that you have the EXACT SAME PRINT hanging over your couch. I will have to go all ninja on you if you do. You have been duly warned.

But seriously, why can't I find anything more than moderately cute. Like these erasers...

Kind of cute. A little creepy.

I do, however, need these:

I have marked them on my wishlist on Amazon for your convenience. Along with this:

Just so you know, I draw the line here:

This, my friends, is creeeepy. And you may not buy it for me.

I have a confession. I loooove...

Gnomes. If you have been in my house you have seen my gnomes. And I am sooooo excited for this:

From Borrowing to Owning

I totally have working internet now. This is exciting because since I moved, I have been borrowing from a neighbor. You know, like sugar. And sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn't. And I had to sit in a certain spot in my living room, and sometimes hold my computer in a certain way on my lap. And I couldn't turn sideways and put my feet up on the couch. Otherwise, poof! Internet gone. Chats were friends were difficult and often ended with said friend cussing me out and telling me to get my own blasted internet. And yet they kept talking to me. Because they love me. And I am a riveting conversationalist.

So turns out when you buy the internet instead of borrowing it this means that there's a whole new set of freedoms you can enjoy. Like, I'm pretty sure I could access the internet from the comfort of my bed. Have not tested this theory yet, but I'm feeling pretty good about this theory. This bodes well for my upcoming illnesses. I like to plan these things ahead. I am fairly certain that I will now be able to stream all the Law and Order: SVU that my poor ill body may need, in the event I actually am ill. I like to plan.

I am chatting with two people at once and I have not once lost access to my chat. I feel so decadent.

Blue.

I'm blue. Just found out that someone who once called me her best friend just had a huge life event, and this is the first I'm hearing about it.

So what do do when you're blue?

Well, you know how I like a good list. So of course I will make a list:

1. make a list of things to do when I'm blue. Because I find comfort in lists.
2. watch Dirty Dancing. Because nobody puts Baby in a corner.
3. Impulse shop. Because what can be better than retail therapy. I'm suddenly obsessed with unicorns. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for my bank account) I can't find any good unicorn stuff to buy. Unicorns make me happy, but not ugly unicorns. Which seems to be the only thing people want to sell. Ugly, scary unicorns.
4. eat ice cream. Even though I am lactose intolerant, and it will make my intestine's scream at me later. And of course don't take any lactaid, because that involves getting off the couch. Even though I got off the couch to get the ice cream. I'm doing good here, I say.
5. put books on my "later" list at the library.