This is Business, People

I'm having a nice, peaceful evening at my local internet cafe, complete with entertainment. And by entertainment I mean a large group of artsy people who have apparently formed a nonprofit* who are having a little run-in with their board, and they are having a little strategy meeting in response to some emails and yelling matches with board members. Because the board is being unreasonable. Oh, and also mean. Because "people can be so mean!"

They are using some highly techinical legal talk, like:

• I would like to interject...
• I think we should agree to be more communicative.
• Dude, what's your damage
• Katie will be holding the talking stick.
• It's a dysfunctional family where we're the black sheep who no one's talking to but the middle brother. (totally deep analogy, if you ask me. They must have some tense Thanksgiving dinners. And what will they all do when grandpa dies? Imagine that will reading!)
• Also, there was the requisite use of the Lord's name in vain. Because the inaccurate emails on the website are JUST that serious
• Oh, shiz! (when did we start talking about Wicked?)
• Not to negate that effort...
• We never signed an agreement prior to the acquisition regarding the condition of the materials (in other words if the couch is ripped we aren't responsible)
• Those internal paragraphs...
• The language you have on the website is so inviting and so inspiring and so FABULOUS. (it does look fairly professional, I see. But I still don't want join.)
  

There is one token male** that has literally spoken once in the last hour. Poor guy. Somebody needs to buy him a treat or something. We've got a speech rate that is reminiscent of the Gilmore Girls (minus the witty conversation), and a mood level that indicates that these girls may in fact have similar monthly schedules, if you know what I mean.

Also, the word heresay has been pulled out. We're getting serious now, kids.

And finally, the key is that they are not offended by what they (the board) wrote. They are the reasonable ones.

When you are disturbing my internet cafe computer time, I blog about you. And also become slightly stalkerish (see notes below).

*Note: Be careful what you are talking about in public when potential stalkers could be present. They've said the name of their non-profit ten million times. I found their website. I know where they work now. I know who these mean, mean board members are. Could totally email them (that is, if the emails on the website are accurate.) The internet is a magical and scary place. Also, if I heard them use the word Collective one more time, I'm going to go over there and... take their talking stick away.
** Token Male went to BYU. The things you learn when people give too much information in an internet cafe where you can google them for more fodder for your blog.