Stop making fun of the innocents!
I've been contemplating a trend I'm seeing in the media lately. It's come on kind of gradually since I was a little kid. I think the thing that to me has been the signal that it's become the way a large amount of society thinks is this. Oh, and this.
Yes I have a sense of humor. I put it down... somewhere... and I really wish I could find it. Oh, there it... no, that's my employment. I should really pick that up some time soon.
I do understand the humor of the geeky guy who doesn't know how to talk to women. I find it painful to watch, but I get it, and I don't begrudge people their laughs. What's troubling me is this: where are the cool virgins? You don't see them in the TV shows. They are all awkward and lacking life experience. If Hollywood manages to create a cool one, at some point they succumb to the temptation and compromise their beliefs. Apparently being stalwart is not sexy. I'm here to tell you, there are lots of 40 year old virgins out there. People who, because of religious beliefs, and/or personal standards they hold to, choose not to have sex. I don't like that men who grow to be a certain age are invited on talk shows to be gawked at like an elephant with two trunks. You can have a whole life without sex. A successful, satisfying life. That doesn't mean that sex is bad, or that those people aren't interested in it, or don't wish they could have it. But there are things in life that are more important than sex, and their choice to not dive right into it does not make them freakish.
What I am witnessing in the mentalities of our youth is worrisome to me. Teenagers should not base their self esteem on how much sexual experience they have had. Neither should adults. And to see a 16 or 17 year old talk about the lack of inexperience of a peer or themselves as though it is crippling is maddening. Smart, strong, beautiful, successful teenagers with bright futures ahead of them are defining themselves by their experience in one area. They are allowing their partners to convince them that their love is defined by those experiences. And the kids who think like this grow into 20-somethings who seek after experiences in such a rash way they become scarred and sometimes truly emotionally crippled. Why do we perpetuate this belief? And why do we laugh at virgins? I say "we" because I'm sure I've shared a chuckle, so I'm totally not casting the first stone, so to speak. It's just, if you really step back from our culture and look at the beliefs around sex objectively, aren't they a little goofy?
2 comments:
You write so well. And, that article about the cat is hilarious! I may be tempted to share this with some of the high school students once school starts again. I completely agree; thanks for sharing!
Where are all the cool virgins?? I can tell you where one is Hahahaha! :) Amen to all of that. Defining one's self-worth by any one criterion is so short-sighted, not to mention the emotional and physical dangers that this one brings. -K
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