I hate people who say things like they meant to compliment you, but really they were complimenting themselves.
Examples:
1. I don't know where you find the time. I'm just so busy (with my important, important life) I just can't afford to get sucked in (to your silly little hobby).
2. Wow, I'm impressed you ate that whole thing. I could just never eat that whole plate (makes face like going to puke), I guess my stomache just can't take it (because it is so much smaller than yours and I am so healthy and skinny and you are fat).
3. It's good that you don't sweat the small stuff. I'm so anal, I would have to do the dishes right this minute because leaving them in the sink (like you just did) would gross me out and I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself (kind of like right now because I'm in your disgusting abode).
Any other examples out there, two readers?
4 comments:
I'll have to think on this one. I'll have to say though, I've heard the third one in a somewhat opposite format. "I just don't have time to clean my house because of the much more important things I do with myself". Translation = You're house is clean because you are not saving the world.
Little do they know that you wear a wonderwoman outfit under your clothes and drive an invisible jet.
How about this one:
"Have you lost weight? You look so good!"
Translation: You totally used to look fat and not good.
Looks like you have THREE readers, not just two:)
I can't think of any other good ones, but I have one that relates to #2. I'll never forget being in Provo and eating a Mountain High Mudd Pie at Red Robin. The waiter came out and said "Wow. I've never seen anyone eat the whole thing by themselves." Translation: you are a total pig!
Were you there for that?
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