Oh, Wait, I already Am.

Yet another Mix Tape I feel I should have in my collection that I don't yet is the Stalker Collection. It would include (with coding that won't navigate you from this page, but instead will open a new window, as it should be):

1. Every Breathe You Take, by The Police. I had to get that one out of the way because I think that is the first one that comes to most people's minds. At least it gets it out there right up front: "Every breath you take and every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take I'll be watching you." But really, it climaxes in romance/creepiness at "oh can't you see you belong to me."

2. Invisible, by Clay Aiken. Clay, Clay, Clay. You would just watch her (or maybe him) in her room? But oh, wait, he already is. Invisible. So apparently he's already watching you in your room. Isn't that romantic?

(by the way, sounds like Clay may actually have done a cover of the song, since a boyband from Ireland did it first.

3. Close to You, by The Carpenters. I think this song has even been USED for stalkers on tv or in movies. "That is why all the girls in town follow you all around. Just like me they long to be close to you...." Also, totally dig the pink dress. Ah, those were the days. Bet it was pure polyester.

4. One Way or Another, by Blondie. First of all, one way or another we need to get Blondie a burger or something. She looks skinny in an unhealthy way. But she does make a convincing stalker. "I'll walk down the mall, stand over by the wall, where I can see it all, find out who ya call." Also I think possibly everyone in that video, including the audience and the creepy stage dancers might be on drugs.

5. Can't Stand Losing you, by the Police. Apparently they were good stalkers, because I can think of one or two others that I am not going to put on the list by them. Takes a really creepy turn at the line "you'll be sorry when I'm dead, and all this guilt will be on your head. " Yet, it's the Police, so I still enjoy it.

6. I want you to want me, by Cheap Trick. With the memorable and complex lyrics: " Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'? Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'? Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.Oh, didn't I, didnt I, didn't I see you cryin'?"

7. The Rain, by Oran "Juice" Jones. I saw you, (and him, and him) walking in the rain. You were holding hands and I"ll never be the same. Although it's really about cheating. Close ya mouth cause you cold busted!

8. Never Gonna Give You Up, Rick Astley: Siiigh. Rick is so cool. "We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I"m thinking of.... Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down... " Do you promise, Rick? What I find interesting is that Rick is now part of a continuing prank on youtube. Have you been Rickrolled?

9. Come to My Window, Melissa Etheridge: "Come to my window. Come on inside, and wait by the light of the moon. Come to my window. I'll be home soon." So I guess really it's an invitation to stalk. And really, so much more creepier once you've seen the intro with Juliette whats-her-face.

10. I'll Be There, Jackson 5. "I'll be there. Just look over your shoulders, honey!" Interesting fact that I learned from watching "The Jacksons: An American Dream," is that it was supposed to be shoulder singular, but that darn cute Michael kept saying shoulders. The boys were quite miffed with him. Just watch the movie and you will see. Also, you'll learn about the time his hair caught on fire.

11. And the song that I thought was THE most romantic song EVER when I was in Junior High School: Right Here Waiting for You, Richard Marx. "Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you. Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks, I will be right here waiting for you.... I hear the laughter, I taste the tears, but I can't get near you now.... Oh can't you see it, baby? You've got me going crazy. " I'm coming Richard! I'm coming! Just keep your hair feathered like that and we will be golden!